In first year uni, there was a woman on my floor who would quite casually stroll to the bathroom with her can of air freshener and a newspaper or novel and would quite cheerfully let you know that she’d just love to chat, but she’s off for her morning poop and you’ll just have to wait.

I really, really admired her. The…

Guys do that too. That was me as a kid so now I try to make as much noise as possible when I waltz in to provide cover for those being humiliated by their bodies behind closed doors. Water faucets on, towel dispenser going, if there are hand dryers I whack those fuckers too. I am the captain of the SS Cover and…

I’m not sure you even understand the sentence you just wrote....racial divide is kinda exactly what they are constantly being blamed for.

i am physically incapable of pooping when someone else is in the bathroom. (i am sure it is mental and not physical but it may as well be - i tense up). i always try to go before i leave for work in the morning, but sometimes i have to go at work. it is a horrible experience for me. so, i am that girl in the stall…

came here to say, back when my ex and I were together, I suggested she wear headphones on the bus to avoid the creeps, and she said she does, but they pull the earbud off her ear. I said I would punch someone in the face for doing that and asked her what she did. She said she does what every woman on the bus…

My wife has the identical reaction if I try to ask her a question through the door while she’s taking a dump in our home (specifically, in the bathroom of our home). Her lady-poops require the illusion of total solitude; she would be far more regular if the rest of the species were wiped out, leaving her the last…

I kind of hate how shitty Gawker writers are now writing for Deadspin about crap that has nothing to do with sports.

I like your sentiment, but that is exactly what she would want.

This is now a Seinfeld episode.

INT Yankee Stadium

Kramer forces way into women’s restroom

Here’s what the second paragraph says, (I lived in Rio for a year, live with a Brazilian and speak pretty fluent Portuguese):

I think the words people do and don’t feel comfortable using for sex are super interesting, like I don’t mind calling it fucking but “making love” gives me the heebies even though I don’t engage in casual sex. A friend of mine has a theory that you should only have sex with people who use the same terms as you because…

Finally, the moment my stupid Kinja handle has been waiting for.

We’re here it’s just the greys make us quiet, man.

It’s because you’re looking up definitions instead of reading the fucking situation in which a likely swarthy fellow wearing mostly white (possibly eggshell) who has been checking out your better half is asking to go somewhere and get nude.
Stop looking things up you prude nerd.

I’m leaning the other way, like, the explicit invitation is for drugs, but with an implied “If so, you guys should join us back at our place. We’ll have some drinks, do some blow, get in the hot tub and see where it leads...”

I think your comment is the only thing here lacking intelligence. The assumption that someone is dim because they participate in a sport is not only monumentally ignorant, it also happens to be incorrect. People that participate in athletic activity almost always do better scholastically. But please, tell me again…

That’s the problem. Millions of Muslim women cannot live how they want. Instead of respecting a culture that treats women like chattle we should be speaking out in opposition to it.

I feel like there’s two different types of people who drink, those who want to eat before bed and those who want to eat when they wake up. If I am hungover, coffee and a soda are all I’m having for breakfast.

Does “being productive” include dicking around on Deadspin in the middle of the day?

A friend of mine had a Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine and would make Pedialyte Sno-Cones for hangover cures. If you can handle the noise and effort of making them, they are an absolute godsend for Pedialyte/hydration and are gloriously less harsh than drinking Pedialyte neat. It’s the best hangover cure I’ve ever encountered.