Nope. That honor goes to my dad. He did foot the bill because my mom insisted (and it was really her show, which I was fine and happy with), but other than that, he acted nothing like a father of the bride or even a half-ass guest. He didn’t smile, he acted very put-upon, he didn’t converse with the guests, and he…

No, because my husband’s fucking douche caboose cousin unplugged our DJ’s equipment and plugged in his laptop so more music he liked would be played. I guess the songs we picked for our wedding weren’t of his taste.

No because that would be my crazy Aunt who did the following:

My wedding had exactly one problem: it was colder than anticipated, so we had to cut the outdoor cocktail hour short and move it into the dinner tent. Which was heated. Also, warmed beverages were served.

My favorite episodes are when they eat stuff because it seems so unnatural, like they’re from an entirely different planet, where they don’t eat food, and their mouths chew like they’re trying to approximate human behavior.

i want to collect all of these sorts of questions into a book. starting with “what time is the 3 o’clock parade” from disney.

I can only assume that customer was actually Alastor “Mad Eye” Moody.

The Reuben one reminded me of a story Terry Pratchett told. He said that one jet-lagged evening he accidently asked for Three Mile Island dressing for his salad. The waitress didn’t say a word, just brought him Thousand Island dressing and a bottle of hot sauce.

For a guy who hates China so much, he sure is obsessed with great walls.

Kendra’s just mad because Holly revealed that Kendra’s dreadful goat bleat gunfire of a laugh is totally fake and engineered to always make her the loudest person in the room.

Holy fucking shit, Jay. This thing is uglier than Billy fucking Bucknah trying to field a ground ball.

Boston is truly the best of America.

In general, the Brits I met were very casual about ghosts—they acted as if ghosts were a given. The proprietor of Sally Lunn’s certainly was, saying “of course” there were ghosts. I used to walk home along an unlighted path from the bus—when I told my Brit friends that I felt nervous (because I am from NYC and I fully…

Neat! *vanishes down rabbit hole, forgets to go to work*

If you want to see dances of the period broken down step-by-step, check out the blog A Bit of Muslin, especially early posts. Hillary is a serious regency dancer!

“...and if you needed the facilities during a dinner party, you’d use a chamber pot behind a screen in the dining room.”

Well, I think there’s two competing schools. Austen was very much upheld as this prim pure social figure in the Victorian period, apparently, and a long time afterward; then the Davies Pride and Prejudice adaptation came along and sexed it up, and now there’s a stereotype that that’s what fans are into. Personally, I…

There’s a city in central Massachusetts that is called Worcester. Despite the spelling, it is pronounced “Wooster.” This leads to many people who have never seen it written having no idea how to spell it, and people who have never heard it said out loud having no idea how to pronounce it.

The whiskey story bothers me. Yes, it is dumb that a bartender does not know what “neat” means, but both bourbon and scotch are types of whiskey. I still don’t know what kind of whiskey that person was trying to order.

I’m pretty sure calling in dead is a Massachusetts thing, because I’ve seen it happen at two very different jobs.