Throw your condoms in the trash people.

That little guy died of natural causes at age 14 or 15. He was born at my house. I was very attached to him and his brothers! (We had 3 hatchlings from a couple of turtles with broken shells that we rescued.)

Being suddenly sexualized, after years of being ignored because I wasn’t one of the “pretty” girls, really fucked with my head at 13. Especially because it wasn’t like the boys suddenly found ME attractive; they just liked my tits. I know this because they didn’t ask me out or want to date me. They just gawked at my…

That’s how I learned what a perfect manhattan was. A customer ordered one and I wasn’t sure if they were being cute or not so I called it exactly that way at the bar. The bartender explained the difference to me, and I think that the customer was a little impressed that I came back with the correct drink.

I’m not doubting the etymology, but where have you heard this? I’m a New England boy from CT, lived in MA and RI, and now I’ve emigrated to DC, and I’ve never heard it used like that. Is it more southern, or maybe more inland? (I’ve always lived on the coasts). I’m really just curious now.

i think your girl is related to one of the two trainees i had at disney that made me quit being a trainer.

The waitress in that second story was so hilariously clueless, I pictured her as Starfire from Teen Titans Go. “On Tamaran, we offer the free refills of the beverages!”

They consistently say "dipped" here in the Midwest and I hate it. You did not dip the ice cream, you scooped it. It's an awful term.

It’s too bad Kevin didn’t find any of this in the storage:

THANK YOU. I spent a few weeks in Jordan several years ago and had such enlightening conversations with the smart, strong, clearly-not-oppressed Muslim women there about why they chose to wear the hijab. One woman explained to me how she felt that many Western standards of dress were actually *more* oppressive of…

I worked for Walmart for two years. When they fuck something up their strategy is to lie lie lie until the problem goes away. I can garentee they’re lying about this to cover their asses. I’m so angry for this woman her doctor prescribed the medication to her that’s reason enough for her to get it.

I would venture to say that most marriages are weird. Or they become weird.

They love traditional hetero marriage. They think that the breakdown of the family is responsible for most of society’s ills. But they also hate that this couple decided to stay married to each other despite their problems.

Thanks. As for the virginity test, they were far more interested in villainizing a relatively innocent 14 year old boy from my school than seeing about whether a grown man was in fact a criminal. I underwent an exam which likely concluded I was not in fact a virgin, but I also got the full body of screenings, which is…

I get that this is cool and everything, but let's not give Marty Walsh a ton of credit for caring about women. In October of 2014, he ordered the evacuation of Long Island in Boston Harbor because the bridge that connects the island to the mainland was deemed unsafe, giving a mere 2 hours notice to the several…

Nonononono you ask a question, then you defer to Mr. Paul’s answer, and then you compliment Mr. Paul on his lush hairpiece, and then you curtsey like so.

He’s a doctor who couldn’t pass his state’s Board exams to be certified, so he went and created his own certification. I wouldn’t trust him to prescribe me an aspirin.

Yoga helped my preschoolers with self-control. When they would get upset, I would ask them to “stand like a tree” and feel their breath. It would calm them right down and we would be able to work through whatever issues had come up.

I used to go to Abby's dance school, back in the day when she was churning out her Broadway superstars. I distinctly remember a dance routine about AIDS performed by the senior-level (16-18) company dancers. I probably have the old recital tapes in my basement.