That’s your opinion, which is fine, but some of us actually do want to be beautiful brides. I grew up looking at my parents’ wedding photo on the living room wall and thinking that my mother looked like a glamorous 70s goddess on her wedding day, and wanting to have beautiful pictures of my own one day. If someone…

We called my fiance’s parents about two hours after we got engaged in order to share the happy news, and his dad immediately asked if we’d set a date. Dude, we’ve been engaged for two hours!

The Young-Earthers would love it.

At least you didn't get murdered?

I could see some potential beef industry donors and the like getting a little miffed at this.

I've worked in international development and this type of thing is the first idea that wealthy savior types think of. They love this stuff.

I would recommend a non-spanx-brand shaping slip. Does wonders, and it goes all the way from your armpits to your upper thighs, so no weird reshifting of mass results. It's also awesome in the winter for providing an extra layer of warmth.

Marshmallow fluff?

I believe it's technically Taiwanese and not really Chinese, but they do have some of the "classic" American Chinese food entrees. Genuine Asian people eat there, too, which makes me think that it must be somewhat authentic. If you're in Squirrel Hill, give it a try.

Rose Tea Cafe?

What a little monster!

You are correct. They were wrong.

Anyone remember a book/series of books about cousins that was sort of similar? There was a rich one and a poor one.

I got reprimanded by a relative for making fun of dump cakes. Apparently I live a privileged lifestyle and don't realize that not everyone has time to make regular cakes.

That's like a Renaissance-level engraving thing right there. Museum quality, obviously.

That's Dr. Huxtable to you, madam. Scuttle off!

Isn't this what the five second delay was made for?

I can't imagine wanting to wear anything else. 10/10.

Laundry detergent loses its effectiveness? How? Does it stop being soap?

Engagement casserole?