Narrated by Wallace Shawn

Mandy Moore’s tweet went in a wholly unexpected direction. When I read “a guy with a full-on” I was not expecting to then see “Rubik’s cube.” And I also expected a follow-up tweet about what happened after the Air Marshal got involved.

Nips never sleep.

Alan Thicke is an old bag of dirty dry-cleaning with a hearty addition of smarm.

I just had a tiny little orgasm after I read this.

“Smear foundation with” is my new go-to. And I don’t even wear makeup.

Haha! I was making a joke about the whole Kumail Nanjiani thing. Also, Aziz Ansari is Tom Haverford, the best entrepreneur that Pawnee, Indiana, has ever known.

Wait, what? I thought the guy on “Silicon Valley” was Aziz Ansari. Really???

I just read (and saw the documentary film of) “Going Clear.” Tom Cruise is batshit crazy. His need to do those stupid-ass stunts is indicative of one thing only: his unchecked narcissism. He wants us all to worship him the way he worships David Miscavige. <barf>

Was he a “good guy” or a “cop” on The Wire, or a “bad guy” (“dealer”)? I am one of about 3 people in America who haven’t watched it.

The Jez item makes it sound like Seth Gilliam plays a NICE priest on The Walking Dead. Alas, no — he plays a mightily fucked-up preacher man who has done some very bad shit, so ... fuck him. Probably all the guilt is getting to him, hence the DUI and stuff.

I love that guy. He’s kind of giving him three-fourths of a side eye.

Some babies are hella beautiful, and other babies look like alien spawn. My sister is 10 years younger than I am, and my mother LOVES to tell the story about the first moment she saw her after she was born. She screamed at my dad: IT’S AN ALIEN BABY! My sister is blonde, blue-eyed and beautiful. But the first few…

The show would be far more interesting to me if one family was already upper middle-class. Like, see if the comfy family gives away their money.