I appreciate my wife for who she is - a disgusting creature too dumb to comprehend even a few of these words. This world is full of impossible standards set forth by the masses: be skinny, have gigantic quivering cubes of gravy for breasts, own teeth that you can take out and throw at people so the teeth can crawl…
a million years ago my grandma told me i shouldn’t wear yellow because it made me look sick. rip Abeda.
This year has been a test in personal endurance. Many of us have seen our personal world views unceremoniously lit on fire, only to be put out with bigoted urine. Our bedraggled nation hasn’t yet recovered enough to limp forward with the hardscrabble vigor for which America was once known. Instead we’re being dragged…
The Cubs have won the Pennant. The Devil is in conversation with the New York State Thruway Authority on a deal to borrow their fleet of snowplow trucks. Just for a couple of days until the World Series.
You have been a dud at holiday gatherings recently. I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you are just going through the motions. I’ll give it to you straight - only a flute will get you out of this rut.
You might be banking on free childcare from your parents when you have kids, but your mom and dad might be thinking something else. According to the New York Times, more and more grandparents are expressing an unwillingness to watch their grandkids every day—granny got plans!
On Saturday, 50 Cent’s penis pranced out in public during an episode of Starz’s Power, on which he plays a drug lord named Kanan, and he seems upset about it. I say “seems” because, before he complained about the sex scene on Instagram, he was pretty excited about it during an interview with TV Guide.
On Monday, cargo shorts became the unfashionable subject of vitriol when the Wall Street Journal’s Nicole Hong published a disapproving story about the many-pocketed style. Today, men at the storied paper are wearing cargo shorts to work in protest and solidarity with their questionable taste.
Bill Cosby, who is accused of sexually abusing several sports team’s worth of women and bullying his victims with defamation, would like his lawyer present during the deposition of his first accuser Andrea Constand, according to TMZ. Constand publicly accused Cosby of drugging and assaulting her in 2005.
On Wednesday, Today Show host Savannah Guthrie smiled through a beauty segment featuring a black model whose hair was ruined on national television via a style that was sold as “easy and effortless.” Someone help this model; her smile is hiding her pain!
If you haven’t noticed, Jeb! (TM) said something stupid about how Americans need to work longer hours for the good of ‘murka, or something like that. Hillary! (TM) has been making quite a bit of hay on that, so Jeb! (TM) has had to “clarify” his stupid-assed remarks, noting that average work weeks are not where they…
Twitter is at a turning point. The company has 284 million monthly users, which is up 10x from five years ago, but recently its growth has flattened. Revenues are growing quickly, but the company still posts huge losses. Wall Street investors have been making noise about wanting Twitter to replace its CEO, Dick…
Incredibly well-tanned media executive Ross Levinsohn was once the interim CEO of Yahoo, and it looked like he might become the permanent CEO but then the board went outside and hired Marissa Mayer instead. Levinsohn left.
That's some serious military hardware parading down city streets, but no, this isn't Moscow's Red Square—it's Long Beach, California.
Trolleys once rivaled the crashing surf in the soundscape of Southland beaches. Along much of the Southern California coast from Santa Monica to Redondo and from Long Beach to Newport, a red dot—a distant Pacific Electric car—would appear down the shore. As it neared, the click-clack of the wheels moving over the…
I think I ordered this on about the 3rd of May, and they got around to placing the order the following Monday, the 5th. This kitchen faucet has really been around. Good thing I'm not really in a hurry.
The number of NFL teams still in the running toward becoming America's Next Top Big Tackley Dudes has been narrowed down to two, and both teams contain players with serious sexual assault allegations. What's a fan to do?