I have a vague recollection of one of those religious “freedom” laws working its way through a state legislature (I don’t remember which one), and one of the Democratic legislators (a woman, natch) wanted to add an amendment that would require such businesses who would use their “sincerely held religious beliefs” to…

Dear wedding cake bakers and florists:

To be fair, I get where they’re coming from. When my partner and I get married, we’re not going to be doing it for the enormous financial benefits, legal benefits or out of sheer love. We’ve decided we’re going to get married specifically so we can oppress the freedoms of Christian bakers. That’s just how we roll.

Supporting Trump violates my sincerely held beliefs, so I don’t have to pay taxes this year.

I’m sure she’ll be rejected again.

but much worse he talks bad about me to our four year old daughter.

A man of faith opens the doors to a much-needed sanctuary without being asked first. A man of religion finds no end of bullshit excuses for why he didn’t.

He’s afraid someone will find, tucked away in some locker-room-cum-vestry, the Thomas Kinkade-signed portrait of a bloated, corpselike creature with patchy tufts of hair growing all over its scabrous ghoul-green skull and out of its ears, grinning nastily at the viewer through rotten teeth, and the jig will be up.

Thanks for that phrase JujyMonkey. I made you a thing.

He is THISCLOSE to bragging that he has the biggest hurricanes.

I really do wish I could say I’m shocked that he made his response to a terrible natural disaster about himself, but, well, here we are.

This makes me happier than anything, for some reason. The whole idea of Dump in full rant, waving his tiny hands, giant tie unfurled and flapping, and half his audience is totally tuned out and reading listicles.

I don’t know, guys...I’m starting to think maybe we have a commander-in-chief with the temperament of a petulant child.

Oh, the people who freaked out over Barack’s tan suit and Michelle’s sleeveless dress! Haw haw Fox.

I’m guessing that if Melania had to put on duck boots, her head would explode, like that guy in Scanners.

Then what would keep his hair from skittering away?

MICHELLE WOULD HAVE WORN SNEAKERS. Or a flat or duck boots or anything else a normal person would wear. GOD I hope 45 has a heart attack on top of her in bed and she’s trapped for several hours.

It’s almost like like ethics and laws are not applicable to the Trump clan.

Dressed for tragedy! Fuck-me pumps and Chinese gimme caps.

Conan the American!