[Over the PA]

Ley: Ichiro is the best, man.

+ prople = funny

It doesn't surprise me at all that this happened. Of course people were going to try to go bigger and bigger with the amount of water, until they forgot that water actually weighs a LOT.

> Their doors are just spray-painted onto the cinderblock walls!

Hell, I'd never shower with the guy. Or, for that matter, any other guy. Or girl. Hell no. That's just not how I roll. And I'm damn sure not about to shower in an open locker room. Hello, what about privacy? Who are these people who are showering in front of all these other people? Not me, that's who. Everyone rubbing…

Did you finish reading the joke? You should finish reading the joke, it's funny.

Awful. +1

So he's remaining aloof-a?

she asked defensive tackle Kendall Langford and linebacker Alec Ogletree about Sam's showering schedule, and they told her that they weren't tracking it.

The Cubs groundskeepers could have sure used the Invisible Hand of the Free Market to help them unroll that tarp.

They could always supplement their income in the fall and winter by being Chicago Bears cheerleaders.

Tarpnado

Damn it. I hate making mistakes like that. My apologies to you and the maligned and esteemed Mr. Berton.

"And they can't even spell my name right!"

"All my life's work! O Jesus, my life's work!!"

This took four years. And I'm unemployed.

Oh sure, but when I force crying little boys to hug me, it's a completely different story.