And this comment here is a great example of the fundamental differences between how European and American sports fans view their favorite teams.

This Allam guy seems completely out of touch with his fan base, and the sport as a whole. Everyone knows that if you're looking for a name to represent a common and lousy midtable club, the one you're looking for is United.

There is an obvious answer that no one is addressing.

Not to be outdone, Woody Harrelson smoked out of a steamroller and ate mushrooms with the Oberlin College Ultimate Frisbee Team.

Woman: [ Googles "Floyd Mayweather" ]

[Confidently raises hand]

WHY YOU SONOFABITCH

[tentatively raises hand]

"A law enforcement official tells AP he mailed a copy of the inside-elevator video showing Ray Rice punching out his then-fiancée to the NFL's security chief back in April".

Of course the important question here is which drunk female threw him off that bridge.

This has officially made him whiter than Wayne Brady

I always love these goal clips with no commentary, just hearing the crowd roars and that sweet sound of rippling net.

When asked whether they had any video evidence, the NFL denied, saying that they couldn't for the life of them obtain footage from NFL Films.

That and calling it an OKCupid Date (or even a "date") is sort of mislabeling it. They had been together for a month and a half before they took the trip. I don't feel like it's still "an OKCupid date" once I've been seeing someone for a month and a half.

Because this post shouldn't run without this virtuoso bit from last night's LWT:

These Derek Jeter send-offs just get more and more emotional.

At first I read this as that your poops were super white, thin and wispy. That seemed enough of a story right there.

I'm always amazed by people's reluctance to poop in other people's houses or at work/school, etc. My attitude has always been "when you gotta go, you gotta go." But I see so many people who refuse to use an unfamiliar bathroom or go when other people are in the same building, I'm starting to wonder if I'm the weirdo,…

I used to be a TA, and I had just finished grading a huge stack of final papers for my class. I piled them neatly on the floor next to my backpack for the next day. When I woke up, my dog had, of every god damned place in the whole house, taken a huge, juicy shit right on top of the stack of papers. The shit was so…

Now you have to tell the story.