WATCH OUT FOR SNAKES.

The Butler did it. In the end zone, with the pick.

Force = Acceleration x UMass

Brady to Moss and their pursuit of perfection was when I started cheering for Brady full time (instead of just against Peyton). Surely we can all agree that the '72 Dolphins are much worse than these Pats teams?

Am I the only one who thinks that it looks like Goodell pissed his pants in that picture?

wait, you recorded a widescreen television in portrait mode?

You'd think a Cowboys loss like this would shake up an otherwise normal Sunday night in Texas.

I have a feeling - actually, it's more than a feeling... that this will not work out.

The fact you do not have Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) invalidates this list in its entirety.

Once again, my apologies to Doris Kearns Goodwin. Cheating Death, thanks to Prescott Pharmaceuticals Formula 401 series Colbert Manseed, should move up. You also neglected rarely used, but very loved segment "That's the Craziest Fucking Thing I've Ever Heard" and its cousin Batshit Serious.

Cheating Death is my favorite. Even though I know they are coming, the side effects always make me laugh. If monkey on the lam had lasted longer that would have to be higher.

Via @PeteGothard

My wife just left, with my three children (ages 8, 7, and 3) to spend a 5-day weekend with her sister. She even took the dog. I'm probably going to call in sick tomorrow, and do nothing but masturbate and sleep and masturbate and eat and sleep and masturbate and masturbate and I'm SO FUCKING…

"White Rabbit" peaked (no pun intended) at #8 in the United States.

The radio is in the hands of such a lot of fools who want to anesthetize the way that you are, WORD UP!

Sure! Here you go:

Finally he shoots something else off!

If you're a college kid dressing up as blackface Ray Rice, you're an awful human being, but at least there's a chance that you're just young and stupid, and you'll grow out of it.

That's HedLEY!