My wife just left, with my three children (ages 8, 7, and 3) to spend a 5-day weekend with her sister. She even took the dog. I'm probably going to call in sick tomorrow, and do nothing but masturbate and sleep and masturbate and eat and sleep and masturbate and masturbate and I'm SO FUCKING…

"White Rabbit" peaked (no pun intended) at #8 in the United States.

The radio is in the hands of such a lot of fools who want to anesthetize the way that you are, WORD UP!

Sure! Here you go:

Finally he shoots something else off!

If you're a college kid dressing up as blackface Ray Rice, you're an awful human being, but at least there's a chance that you're just young and stupid, and you'll grow out of it.

I'd like a player with a short short and a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong

Not much - you?

When Morse was asked about the girl catching his foul ball, he responded ".. .——. — / ...- . .-. -.— / .... .- .—. .—. -.— / ..-. —- .-. / .... . .-. .-.-.- / .— .... .- - / .- / —. .-. . .- - / .—. .-.. .- -.— .-.-.-"

This puts a lot of pressure on the other twin.

I can't be the only one who thought the first CA movie was the best of the solo-Avengers films, can I? Thoroughly enjoyed it.

smooth cock of the ball

Sounds like Sherman is really insecure, even despite winning a Super Bowl, if he has to reply to everyone who uses the words "greatest" and "cornerback" in a sentence on social media.

"Zero."

This story has inspired me, and on Valentine's Day no less. Tonight, when I finish 30 minutes ahead of my wife, I vow to stay awake and congratulate her perseverance.

False. The best part is the masshole at the 5:31 mark giving the double barrel solute to the skydivers.

That's HedLEY!