Bill Hicks had a bit about that: “God planted those fossils!” “Why?” “To test our faith!” “Oh yeah? I think God put you here to test mine.”

Nope. The devil put that footprint there to trick you heathens into....I don’t know? The motive part is where I always lose the narrative with all conspiracy theories.

Remember when the military warned that climate change would affect global stability? Feels like we’re about to see what they meant.

Expecting the new Bond villain to be American.

Serious question I have been pondering. Do people in other countries really think that we are as dumb as this man? Do they think we share his beliefs? Do they understand how tiny his hands are?

Trump becomes more and more like a comic supervillain.

Short vacations with alcohol, y’all. Don’t let it lose out.

I am a capitalist tool who can have more vacations with or without booze if I got a raise.

This better come down to “Long Summer Vacations” v “Short Summer Vacations w/booze”

An anecdote of why you can’t run government like a business. As told by Jamie Vollmer:

Putting everything aside, hatred of Trump, etc., this statement just bothers me to the core:

Bribe Squad.

“I promised the American people I would produce results, and apply my ‘ahead of schedule, under budget’ mentality to the government.”

“You have attracted people who are determined that ideology is more important than facts.”

No, a book cannot cause someone to become gay. It might, however, help someone to internally acknowledge that they are gay, and thus have more self-acceptance, more self-esteem, and a greater sense of security.

I can’t get over how Hannity keeps talking and interrupting as Koppel tries to explain. He’s ruder even as he tries to be gracious.

Does this now set a precedent for others to do that same to him, or do the countless lawsuits against him count towards this?

Love this so much.

“Yoga’s great for your health and important to keep up during your busy schedule! Now dress properly, slut!”

Where’s his other hand?!?