GODDAMN YOU LYING GOOGLE IMAGES YOU BASTARD

Also, that’s a Schwinn Stingray.

I got huffy when I was 6. Sorta like this one, except mine had more Six Million Dollar Man stickers on it....

“I’m embarrassed to even tell you how many times I tried.’’

“John, I’m you from the future.”

This is this like the Marlboro Man telling Don Draper to quit smoking.

To be fair Johnny Manziel has no idea who Bernie Kosar is.

Peter King’s open letter is essentially erotic fanfiction for Roger Goodell. King doesn’t even have to be in the same room as Goodell to help get him off.

Labor - all the risk, all the blame.

I hope the players read this and then never give PK quotes ever again.

The NFL is the tobacco company telling us that cigarettes dont cause cancer.

The office I worked in right out of college was in a 5 floor office building. We were on the 5th floor, but the 4th floor was 3/4 empty, and the empty suites on that floor were just unlocked. One of them faced the sun all day by virtue of wrapping around a corner of the building, and since the building had…

This isn’t true. Unless you’re staying at a “by the hour” roadside motel somewhere. This is a commonly regurgitated urban legend from the days when hotels used those grainy thin bed cover sort of things that were never intended to be used as blankets.

15 months seems really young but by the time I was 6 or 7 I had figured out sitting in the car listening to the radio was way better than following my mom around the grocery store.

Worst case is he heaves it nowhere near anyone and gets flagged for intentional grounding.

dude, my school library had nice recliners with ottomans, i’d just put my backpack on forward for safekeeping, wrap my arms around it, put my headphones on and be OUT for a solid hour

You meant to say “in your first-year stats class, which you stupidly registered for even though it started at 8 a.m. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and was taught by the most boring speaker who just happened to be the Dean, Academic at your college.”

“Sprawled on top of your laptop in the library at 4am” was something I did more than once. The panic that ensues when you wake up was GREAT.

“In the college library instead of studying for finals“ has to be on the list somewhere.