Don’t feel so bad, Dick. I can tell you, I was way more embarrassed the last time I trusted someone proposing a “three teamer.” I won’t get into too many details, but my roommate ended up living in a commune with my former fiance. 

It sounds good, but have you seen how much they pay in taxes in Canada to pay for this officiating? And my brother-in-law’s former CPA had an uncle who was a CFL head coach. He threw a challenge flag and those socialists made him wait three months before he could schedule the appointment and his arm fell off at the…

citation needed

I once lied about eating the last two Oreos in the package. My wife asked me if I’d eaten them and I said yes and she got mad. But I actually hadn’t eaten them yet. I lied about having already eaten them just so I could save them for later and eat them while she took our daughter to soccer practice. And then I ate…

I could watch that gif all day. 

Phish was in St. Louis last night. Setbreak coincided with the end of the game, so when they came out for the second set, the band launched into Gloria and Loving Cup in appreciation.

Why don’t they just make the whole team out of that hot goalie stuff???

no Big Four sports league had even seen a team in last even a quarter into the season win a championship.

“Do not spit it out, because when you win the Stanley Cup, you keep drinking."

I actually believe St. Louis style wine is an unrefrigerated bottle of Sunny D.

UW is Wisconsin forever and always.

I haven’t seen a Twins offense hit like this since...well, ever. The bullpen has me worried though.

Is it okay to say the Twins are for real yet? Because they seem pretty for real to me. At least offensively; Odorizzi is putting up insane numbers in everything but IP, and the bullpen will succumb to that eventually.

as a scientist Bauer should be familiar with Kepler’s first law of baseball motion which states that a weak-ass pitch down in the zone swiftly becomes a parabola

Oh yeah, I’ve seen them in action! It’s pretty cool actually:

BEE UNIT!

Nothing says “Americans don’t know how to play soccer” like Brian McBride walking around with his face caved in instead of rolling around on the ground like he’d been shot.

I remember some kid in the 90's telling me that they chose the name Raptors because the first Velociraptor skeleton was discovered near Toronto. This is something I’ve believed to be the truth for 25 years.