R.R. I love you, and you KNOW THIS, but can we get a happy story tonight.

I am 30 years old in a few months and I am still trying to figure out how to apply for college. Help me.

IN YOUR BUBBS.

I once ran out into 4 lanes of traffic to rescue 6 baby possums after their mother was hit. I kept them in a box that I filled with grass, and sticks and rocks and my mother called a wildlife preserve everyday until they agreed to take the vermin off of our hands.

I'll never be made love to the way he makes love to the camera.

This is one of the most cunting offensive articles I've read on Jez.

I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I, I've built my life around Vodka Tampons
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I'm getting older too oh yes
I'm getting older too

That is a much better stance to live by than to preface every statement you've made here with the idea that force and police and loltactics and lol S.O.P are foregone conclusions and worse, good and worth maintaining.

I, for one, welcome our new JRPG overlords.

I love AFLAC, those commercials are hi-larious!

Lol yeah sympathy is for better people, that deserve it. Lol fuckin human idiots! LOLOlzolzolaoL!OLol

*fashion exists solely to project an unobtainable image that's dangerously unhealthy.

Do people really get drunk and shout show your tits?

Oh god, I don't even know. I like you too I just feel like it's such a punch in the arm to the blogosphere to use Burt Reynolds as your avatar, and yours simply doesn't inspire as much irreverence on a lonely night.

ANY TIME, ACTUALLY. I like you too, can we just be like even stevens?

MARK I DONT HATE YOU BUT I WISH YOU WERE REBECCA ROSE.

Hopefully peace and happiness.

So awkward, so unwelcome, yet ... so welcome.

Marry me.

Press '1' if you can't remember the last time somebody prolly touched your butt.