I'm imagining that when the initial casting call went out, the write-up for Reacher was something along the lines of  "…as a physical embodiment of the Aryan ideal, the actor should fall somewhere between 'Stuka pilot' (c. 1938) and 'Waffen SS paratrooper'."

You know, @avclub-8f9f2e0abeda68b5d8d864b53f26c638:disqus, I thought my life was complete after I heard Walken say the word "hallucinogens" in Seven Psychopaths. Now your post has shown me that I will never know true joy until I hear him say "bukkake".

You know, @avclub-8f9f2e0abeda68b5d8d864b53f26c638:disqus, I thought my life was complete after I heard Walken say the word "hallucinogens" in Seven Psychopaths. Now your post has shown me that I will never know true joy until I hear him say "bukkake".

Molly, you know Pullman can't let himself go in any role. The last time he tried that, he cut Patricia Arquette's arms and legs off, and then he transformed into Balthazar Getty.

Molly, you know Pullman can't let himself go in any role. The last time he tried that, he cut Patricia Arquette's arms and legs off, and then he transformed into Balthazar Getty.

And yet again Abrams steals ideas from Nemesis!

And yet again Abrams steals ideas from Nemesis!

"Ladies and gentlemen, uh, we've just lost the transmission, but what we've seen speaks for itself. The Starship Enterprise has apparently been taken over, conquered if you will, by a master race of flying meat pancakes. It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will devour the captive crew or merely…

"Ladies and gentlemen, uh, we've just lost the transmission, but what we've seen speaks for itself. The Starship Enterprise has apparently been taken over, conquered if you will, by a master race of flying meat pancakes. It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will devour the captive crew or merely…

@avclub-daeea03756fb26640b2c12493f0b08d5:disqus: It's been a few years, but I can pick out Cohen and Groening. Billy, John, and Maurice are easy as hell, of course. If I rewatched them I could get back up to speed.

@avclub-daeea03756fb26640b2c12493f0b08d5:disqus: It's been a few years, but I can pick out Cohen and Groening. Billy, John, and Maurice are easy as hell, of course. If I rewatched them I could get back up to speed.

@EvelKareebel:disqus: This may be the only time I have ever wanted a Muscleman gimmick poster.

@EvelKareebel:disqus: This may be the only time I have ever wanted a Muscleman gimmick poster.

Grandpa, you and your stories. "Bart broke my teeth." "The nurses are stealing my money." "This thing on my neck is getting bigger."

Grandpa, you and your stories. "Bart broke my teeth." "The nurses are stealing my money." "This thing on my neck is getting bigger."

(adjusts glasses, adopts peevish voice)

(adjusts glasses, adopts peevish voice)

Wait, why were they rejected? Was it because they couldn't sing very well?

Wait, why were they rejected? Was it because they couldn't sing very well?

@avclub-d9788dca1673b499692fc7ab062e283f:disqus and Billy Mays is showing them this awesome new portable grill he ordered off an infomercial.