Today's marmosets are just lazy. They play too much X-Box. In my day, marmosets played outside more.

No one knows what the mice are eating after the scientists leave.

The Imperial System: making stuff sound higher to Metric people since 1799.

What a guy...

Does being on the dope make you confused about the appropriate use of question marks?

After decades of anguish, the executive director of the World Carrot Museum finally decides to go public with the Nazi Carrot Files.

So it's because of the British (not the nazi's)?

I'd love to see Christian Bale play Orlando Bloom.

Awww... I thought from the headline that Christian Bale might be playing Orlando Bloom in the near future... Shame...

"Jesus is behind me isn't he...?"

The fact the first and most important thing on his mind is "They've taken the little ones."

Goddam Return of the King.

Sam & Frodo is touching, but nothing gets me like Boromir's dying words in Fellowship:

This one fucking KILLS ME EVERY TIME

Except that most of these disorders are actually used more as metaphors then real diseases. In general I think that makes them acceptable in a work of fiction.

Would the concept of Fight Club work better if you think of Jack as Tyler's alter instead of the other way around?

No one should actually tell you to watch it. They're all breaking the first rule! Oh, wait...

Shakespeare would have an easy time. "Only 2 sentences!? Sure, I can write a 200 words story."