Wow! Great post! iPhone 11 didn’t include:
Pointless charging gimmick
Pencil with nowhere to put it?
New cellular technology that nobody is clamoring for and .02% of the population has access to.
That one thing that apple said they’d never have on phones (is 256GB not enough??)
Ports removed generations ago
Hard hitting…

Now remember, just because he hasn’t had it fingered doesn’t mean he hasn’t had it eaten, so he could still have played for Detroit.

They discontinued my beloved Mexi-melt. Bastards.

My Mom had all girls and “boy moms” used to annoy her so much. They all seemed to assume that being loud, messy, and roughhousing was something only boys did. She would frequently point out that my sisters and I did all of those things (especially the story where my middle sister and I were fighting and fell onto the…

I’ve loved MOST of the F&F movies but every now and again it tickles me to be like, “Remember when this was about guys who drove Honda’s and stole DVD players?” 

Contestants proceed to spend entire time attempting to assemble three piece monkey. 

“And Suzy died so bravely, filming the very tsunami that took her from us”

... Unlock that door, and you may be headed to the Shrine of the Silver Monkey! Assemble the statue there, and you may move on to the Wave Pool. If you survive both the correctly functioning waves AND the accidental tsunami, it may lead you to the Pavement! From there, you must climb into the Ambulance and race to…

I’m *pretty sure that I got greyed in Jezebel for consistently calling Andy Cohen a piece of shit in any write-up they did about him.

The person I saw the movie with also called it murder, but it isn’t. I don’t want to get all “stand your ground” here, but killing someone who breaks into your house with a knife/gun isn’t what murder is.

As a Jew, I really, really hope you aren’t getting offended on my behalf. Inglorious Basterds is a bit of an exploitation film in the same way Django is, but come on man, pick your fucking battles. I’d argue Schindler’s List is far more exploitative than Inglorious Basterds. Holocaust cinema is gross and at least…

I’m looking forward to the photo-real remake of Inside Out, which will just be talking chunks of human brain.

Me, after reading seven paragraphs full of one excoriating pull-quote after another:

In your grocer’s Tofurky section.

When one finds oneself in a hole, one should first cease digging.

Best response to the overly-sensitive-to-spoilers crowd ever.

If so, this would be the first time in crowdfunding history when backers input has improved the game. 

This kinda shit is why I love Jalopnik.