Speaking as a middle-aged white person, I find tears from middle-aged white people complaining about reverse-racism really goddamn tedious and infuriating.

If only there had been a good bag with a gun to stop this senseless tragedy.

This is my nightmare, too! After having kids and realising how easy it is for someone to just die in the night, I started becoming very paranoid about my husband, too. Even though my kids aren’t infants anymore, I still check them and their dad’s chest for breathing movements while asleep. My husband had cancer a few…

The worst part was, the doctor was my mom’s OBGYN and my mom had convinced/conspired with her to tell me some serious bullshit. After confirming to my mom that my hymen was still intact and I was in fact still “a girl” (meaning, virgin), she informed me that tampons could break my hymen and that my future husband…

judges in america sentence people with an IQ off less than 70 to death all the time. so no, i don’t trust their ability to judge who deserves to die and who doesn’t.

Sadly it is engrained in the American identity.

Society hasn’t determined a fetus’ life to be unworthy. Society has determined that it is barbaric to legally take away the bodily autonomy of women by forcing them to remain pregnant and give birth without their consent.

Get the fuck outta here with that horseshit. Abortion and the death penalty are not comparable.

A prisoner is a person. A clump of cells is not a person. You’re taking the ‘chance of life’ away every time a man masturbates, wears a condom, a woman takes the pill, decides not to have sex with someone. Do you suggest getting rid of all of those choices? To equate ‘the chance of life’ and ‘a life’ is ridiculous.…

“ They both take life”

One of things I hope for most dearly is that the death penalty will be abolished in my lifetime. Not the feckless, useless, piecemeal state by state abolition, but the federal government actually stepping up and saying no more. I hate this shit. It’s WRONG.

You know, you just look silly in a tinfoil hat unless you properly ground the system with an 8 foot paperclip chain hung from your pants leg.

So I’m in High School (because of course) and my buddy who is also my age decides he needs to go with his roommate to Seattle (we’re in Portland area) to retrieve his roommate’s car which is still at his roommate’s old house. It’s a Tuesday in like March or something and I don’t even bother asking my parents because I…

When I was applying for college in the 90s, I was under a lot of pressure. My parents expected me to go to a top school like Stanford - all kinds of straight A students got rejected from Stanford, so I was really pushing myself. I had all kinds of extra-curricular activities in addition to a demanding course load.…

how many closets did you have?!

No offense, but your parents kinda seem like dicks.

I grew up living next door to my maternal grandparents. They were wonderful grandparents who were very loving and giving. Throughout my childhood and adolescence I typically went and hung with them five or six times a week.

Are you a cop?

I’m not super into self-defecating humor.

i know this is kinda unpopular, but i am not super into female comedians who spend most of their material being self-depreciating. i also know that the reason that amy schumer (and i’m also thinking of tina fey circa 30 rock) reach so many people is because self-depreciation makes them less threatening to people…