“well now, i do declah-yer! My client, a gentleman bah the name oh one Mistah Roy Moore is takin’ Yummsh to this here court-a-law for tha’ crime of besmirchin’ of his good name. His price? Tha’ princely sum of wan bil'yon yankee-dollars, a windowless van, an’ a large bag o’ candy-sweets, that he will redistribute amon’…

Not the first time someone fucked up at the US Open.

You mean, Charles Manson had *four* kidneys?!

I live in San Francisco. Guarantee you if that bastard dropped dead tomorrow of an aneurysm in the middle of the day people would pour out of their offices onto the street like it was VJ day.

Good gravy was 1998 a good year for film. (Or possibly just a year that I went to a lot of damn movies so I actually saw most of the best ones.)

This shows how stupid of a kid I was, but back in the ‘80s when they would show ads on TV for music compilations (i.e. top 40 hits compilations) they would list some of the best acts on there and then say, “and many more.” My dumbass always thought Many More was a band and they must be super awesome because they are…

Luke Heimlich: But I’m just a poor boy and nobody loves me.

The most important question I have is what in the hell is Iowa doing having high school playoffs toward the end of July? How is that possible? 

“So... I saw your dad and Bridget took you to the ballgame this weekend...”

Oh that Meryl Streep! She’s such a phoney baloney!

As a Mets fan who was at Game 4 on Halloween when Murphy booted that ground ball, I do not have sympathy for you.

The 2015 World Series was three years ago, but, god, it feels like a million.

I’m a vegetarian who has been to Japan a few times. Unfortunately it’s pretty much impossible to just walk into a random restaurant in Japan and get vegetarian food. Even when something looks vegetarian, It’s almost certain that it uses some form of fish- or meat-stock, which they can’t leave out. Also many Japanese…

I’m frequently disappointed that people hold Borat in such high regard but ignore the amazingness of Da Ali G Show. 

1978 was not the final time that Jim Joyce would end up in the jackpot.

Ask Your Fellow Passengers

Yes.

My friend and I have decided that, since Arkady was called to pick up Philip and Elizabeth, that means that Stan got the message through. So hopefully Oleg will get to come home to his vaguely Nina-look-alike and tiny baby soon. I hope, anyway.

I was hoping for some Martha update