He thinks the carpet pissers did this?

My parents gave me a map, pointed to Japan and China, and said “these are different countries”. I've never forgotten that lesson.

The Free World would defeat China the same way they defeated the Soviet Union: with Levi jeans and rock and roll.

Unlike the six or seven-barred western weapons this weapon has an amazing eleven barrels.

We notice EVERYTHING. It’s our job.

I mostly remember her from Xtrem 4X4 at Spike TV. She was a badass.

Holy shit. I was opening you guys up at work to just read some car news. This shook me to the core. I’ve watched her since her Spike days on the Powerblock. I remember getting excited to see her branch out to something as gigantic as Mythbusters. It was also awesome to see her jump in the cockpit of this beast and try…

Y’know, I really wish someone would tell these sports entities to (checks notes) “stick to sports”...

And they are gonna CRUSH those church nerds.

There’s one of those combos in my metro, which was formerly a KenTaco Hut (KFC/Taco Bell/Pizza Hut combo).

Your sister is NOT a vegitarian.can we just stop this? Call her a pescatarian. 

I propose they move to SunnyVALE.  It’s too bad they can’t meet Jim Lahey, RIP.

Hey, now! Golf is a good game. Don’t judge it by some of the people that play.

Yeah, I really need to talk about Brad too. Being from PA and having a few relatives that went to PSU, I’m going to read between the lines here. Based on the bowl cut, the video game and alcohol prohibition, and gatekeeping the phone and starting conversations with other people’s friends, I’m guessing that Brad’s mom…

This looks like the world’s most expensive gaming mouse...

Hatred is my thing, nobody can hate as pure as me

This is horse women, and dog “parents”, and crossfit bros, and coffee snobs, and fucking car guys. This is everybody with the thing that they like, because you obviously could never love their thing as purely as they do. What’s your thing?

You’re being a real Contador.

I used to play midnight and occasionally 2AM when I was (much) younger. Offsides? What offsides?

My son struck out looking the other night on a 3-2 pitch that was a foot off the plate and eye level. He was pissed about it, so told him not to be, because the umpire had switched to his “It’s 17-0 and 9:30 on a Thursday night” strike zone, and was just trying to get all of us home sooner.