Haha! 

All I want are the model years effected.

Just when you think Tracy’s jaloped his last jalop, he goes and jacks up his car to repair a drum brake in a friggin’ bank drive through.

These are the articles I come to Jalopnik to read.

That use of outstanding was definitely a lot more popular in the past.

Followed by: “Out standing at the bus stop, waiting for a ride home.”

Jalopmeter is pegged.

bouncing off the Jalopmeter.

Ejected the engine? Like, holy shit Batman.
Also, um wear your seatbelt folks!  And they make them for your dogs too!

Sort of like how the Elio doesn’t make sense either

Why would my palate need cleansing of car news? I like car news. I don't want to be reminded how shitty people are, I see that enough in the regular news and, well, in real life. I guess they just want to push even more people over to places like The Drive, where most of the good old Jalop writers have gone.

I highly recommend getting a 200ml syringe for brake bleeds.... you bolt up the caliper, hook a clear hose from the syringe to the caliper nipple... and push fluid in to the system from the caliper up... brake installs and brake bleeds can be done in 5 about minutes without having to worry about bubbles.... have a…

Until the battery carrier rusted through and dumped the battery on the pavement...

Makes two of us.

It’s the 21st century. I believe they’re called “person holes”. Or something like that...

“JD Power is all shorters!”

The van driver should have pulled over on his own Accord. Now he’ll going to get a Civic lesson on hit and runs. Hopefully the punishment Fits the crime and he goes on an Odyssey to his local penitentiary.

Look, don’t ruin Orange Julius for me. It’s delicious and should not be associated with that man. Same thing with Cheetos. He deserves no relation to these fine bastions of food and drink.

All those miled-up UBER rides will be hitting the repo lots soon, eh?

Ignobel, at any rate.