Trump wants to present to the world as the most alpha guy around, but he’s deeply insecure. When he sees a real apex predator like a shark, it reminds him of all of his many inadequacies so he lashes out.

Naturally the dumb fuck president doesn’t understand what an ecosystem is and how goddamn vital sharks are to that ecosystem remaining healthy / functional.

I reckon most rich psychos probably worry and obsess about wild animal attacks, natural disasters, etc. Stuff that kills you regardless of how much money and litigation you throw at it.

“I ate a tire last week that was more tender than that!”

I think he hates them because they have to keep moving all the time, and Trump is afraid of exercise.

Would rather the giant shitty animatronic shark from JAWS were president than Trump tbqh.

Someone should arrange a tour of this place in DC, maybe it will give his Big Mac-choked heart an attack.

Of course he wants them to die: how’s he ever gonna repay those loans?

This shark thing is just getting weirder...

He’s more of a blobfish than Ted Cruz, and that’s saying something.

Trump’s noted disdain for animals/lack of having a pet points very seriously to his lack of empathy. Animals are pretty easy to empathize with, adding in “The Arms of an Angel” just sweetens the deal.

TRUE SCIENCE FACT: President Trump is more closely related to a blobfish than a blobfish is related to a shark.

Here lies the body of Mary Lee; died at the age of a hundred and three. For fifteen years she kept her virginity; then I grabbed her by the pussy.  

I’m sure the White House is going to release an ad blaming any future shark attacks on democrats.

Sure, makes sense, he knows they are all laughing at him for how well done he likes his meat.

When I Googled Frank Tribble, all I got was a bunch of articles about a Frank Tribble from L.A. who was sentenced a few years ago for illegal use of bulk commercial email, fraud, conspiracy, computer fraud, mail fraud, wire fraud, and money laundering. So ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Honestly, if we really wanted to pretend we distribute wealth—and thereby opportunity—based upon hard work and merit then watching scammers hustle rich kids out of their parents’ money is a fairly decent way to go about it. Bonus points for schadenfreude.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me, can’t get fooled again.

I heard a new festival is being thrown; it’s called the Yce Festival, and will be a gala somewhere in the fjords of Norway. I forget where exactly.