I’m over crochetty old white people talking shit about Beyoncé and Cam Newton this morning. Dear fellow white people:

All my calculations come to the result of Potato. But it’s 1:47 AM here and I’m drunk, so Tomato can also be an answer, depending on the observer.

Republicans would say she had every chance to buy her own gun and because she didn’t it’s her fault he killed her. What was she thinking, telling a guy she didn’t want to date and forgetting to arm herself?

You know what they say, one man’s junk is another man’s treasure.

Given your username I sincerely hope you weren’t in People’s Court because a schlub had run off with your car.

I feel like that would leave you with precious little free time, Demon

What part of the structure would fail in an outward explosion like that at 5 minutes after takeoff? I don’t know planes very well, but given the time in the air and the location, I suspect something else is at play.

I’m a litigator. Sometimes I’ll do oral argument before the Court and think, “shit, that felt like rambling. I bet I sounded so dumb. I must do better next time.” And then I get the transcript back and I’ve spoken eloquently throughout it. Comparatively, I imagine Palin is like “nailed it” after a speech and then…

Thought processes following these things are always such a mixed bag.

Eh, I would have written “denied and all INTEREST,” not (in essence) “denied any all neutrality,” which I guess is supposed to mean Kanye is not impartial about ass play...and it does seem he has very strong feelings about it, but I’m guessing it was a typo.

You could steal it? Problem solved.

I really really want the camless stuff.

Somewhat related, the last time I went to empty my camper’s black tank, some shithead had stolen the drainage hose. I hope that person forgot to wash their hands and spent the day with explosive diarrhea in an RV bathroom.

Ha!!! No worries whatsoever!

She is pointing to the article, which is above “her” on the screen.

This is a real life example of the difference between designers and engineers.

Pish. We should change the name to end that stupid joke once and for all. We’ll call it ‘Urectum.’