Shows only black being available, not too comfortable in the sun, just sayin...
That’s what I get for being late to the party, Marty.

Shows only black being available, not too comfortable in the sun, just sayin...
That’s what I get for being late to…

All watermelons are life sized.

water cooled

Any birds on the racetracks will now be fileted and shoot out the sides!

I have to admit that I fall back to elementary school level and STILL find myself calling people retarded when I let my emotions get out of hand (99% of the time is on the phone to some customer service drone...), and it always embarrasses me after the fact. I’d like to think I’m a better person than that, but until I…

Nope.
I’m with Emma.
Cheese on mine please.
Swiss, if possible.
Thank you.

Can we PLEASE stop using that fake, practiced, poor-wittle-me picture? It’s so obvious she’s been coached to do that. THIS is more how I see her:

That, and I don’t know why his roommates can’t just go outside for a smoke.

before police reportedly called the General Motors OnStar center to have the grandmother’s 2014 Chevy Cruze shut off remotely.

Ha! Came here to say exactly that!

Even in a terrible tragedy such as this, one must keep one’s wits about one, and remember to stop, drop, and film in effing landscape mode!

Gin Box.

Crack.
Pipe.

yup, every *job* turns into just a job sooner or later.

Make it well known that you will be billed for FULL cost of the rescue effort, that should at least narrow the field of contenders.

So, Madonna wants to pitch a tent and live on the lawn, what’s the big deal?

And, though you’ve probably heard this before, DO NOT LEND MONEY TO FAMILY MEMBERS!!!
My brother, who has PLENTY of income borrowed stole 30K from me.
I won a judgement against him in court, but he’s spent most of his life learning how to hide assets and has friends who help him do this.
With interest, he now owes me…

Won’t the shots that miss their targets potentially blind our overlord alien pilots out there by Mars?

Looks like it’s singing opera!

Thanks Moby, thanks Lifehacker...