happy now Jezebel!?...

HAPPY, JEZEBEL?!

"Happy now, Jezebel?"

I can woodchipper a tube of Thin Mints like nobody's business.

Just means girl scout cookies for me.

Sorry, don't give a shit, if a person did something to get themselves their in the first place they can deal with it, its prison, not a vacation.

God. Stop with the click bait titles. She's not going to jail for shopping, she's going to jail because she violated the conditions of her house arrest. Dont leave your house seems pretty easy to understand.

I kind of feel like Chris Kluwe's "activism" stopped being about the actual cause and started being more about Chris Kluwe a little bit ago.

TLC should be legally compelled to issue a statement clarifying that they are no longer even remotely "The Learning Channel."

Angry Alabama Fan Drops The Best Burn On Colin Cowherd

If I could get into that position, I'd probably do something for what seems like an eternity as well.

"Watch This Cat Lick His Butthole for What Feels Like an Eternity"

For $100k I am throwing it however the fuck gets me that money.

Little known fact: Bill Clinton had "pants & tits" on his Xmas list back in '95.

"Pants and Tits" is also the nickname the tabloids gave to Ellen Degeneres and Portia de Rossi.

Good luck, kid. I ask for pants and tits every year and I just keep getting pants.

"A little thing that can turn into anything at anytime."

Steelers fans will all agree that their greatest nemesis has always been the Browns.

Forget swearing: If you try to stall by spilling soda on the court the Xbox will suspend you indefinitely until you pay a $500 fine.

Disable Mormon mode.