A black man suggesting not being black may help you not be shot by the police? Get off your high horse. You must be a Christian white male.

Another rule: If you have violated rule #1, try to make sure you work for a white dude.

It is amazing how many commenters are able to fool themselves into thinking that all of these folks that were killed by police "had it coming". And those who points out that racism exists are the "real racists".

This is also my experience. I know many good men who might not read bell hooks, but who practice active consent, respect boundaries, and listen more than they speak when women are discussing their experiences. The guy that walks in yelling about his reading list and his personal practices is the guy that I do not…

Yes, the part about listening more than they talk is the most important. I have encountered countless male 'feminists' who think that because they're feminists, they can go ahead and act as if they know more about feminism and women's experience than women do.

I have never experienced assault at the hands of a male feminist, but I have experienced Macktivism for sure. I only trust men who listen more than they talk about feminism (in a conversation with women), who are feminist in actions but not necessarily name. I look for nuances in conversation, reactions to real world…

That does precisely nothing against the SWATting threat. That's the most dangerous threat she received, in my view.

Owning a gun does not make you safer. It makes you more than four times as likely to be shot either fatally or nonfatally as compared to the general population.

I'm not anti-gun. I grew up in a place with guns. I understand their utility. But the reason I've never bought one — besides the difficulty of getting a CHL license in New York — is that it's another thing someone can wrestle away from me and use against me. I just don't think it's a solution to the larger issue.

"People who haven't really suffered yet think it's edgy and shows you have a thick skin and a good sense of humor to laugh at other people's suffering. ("I'm so tough; this video of a beheading doesn't faze me at all." "Tee hee, it's hilarious to harass the parents of a kid who committed suicide, because I don't know…

I think the thinking is "It's stupid to have feelings and if I make you show them by scaring you, threatening you, or harassing you, I WIN."

Jesus Christ. This is a great article (you are becoming one of my favorite writers on here) and I'm so sorry you're going through all this.

Yes, I am trying to figure out why anyone would be "held accountable" for going to a party, or for choosing to engage in consensual sexual activities. Neither of those are things people should be "held accountable" for. Rape is a crime, and people who rape should be held accountable for committing a crime.

"Your likely another woman who wants to be able to go party and have zero accountability"

take your agenda someplace else Your likely another woman who wants to be able to go party and have zero accountability

I'm raising a 16 year old son. We discuss enthusiastic consent all of the time. This also means that we go through scenarios and break down when consent is given or not. I've also told him there are non weird ways to ask if what he is doing is ok and if she feels comfortable going further.

The real police can't arrange separate schedules, suspend or expel, remove someone from campus housing, remove someone from a sports team, etc. Many victims are terrified to go to the police, who often aren't much better. That doesn't mean we're stupid to pursue less severe methods.

I agree. The shortened yellows seem like cheating, but the increased rear end collisions means that people who intended to run the light are hitting people who are stopping at them. This is because of cameras? No, it is because of too much speed, inattentive drivers, and tailgating.