Is this the end of the beginning?
Or the beginning of the end?
Losing control or are you winning?
Is your life real or just pretend?
Reanimation of the sequence
Rewind the future to the past.
To find the source of the solution;
The system has to be recast…

Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet? And also, you're drunk…

…and the Carnivortex Dominioneers did the bidding of the Night Surgeons and fed it all to the void

"I've seen things you Kinjas wouldn't believe. Attack threads on fire off the shoulder of The Onion. I watched comment-beams glitter in the dark near the Chathäuser Gates. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die."

I remember that fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really on the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at…

The big, huge meteor headed toward the Earth. Could nothing stop it? Maybe Bob could. He was suddenly on top of the meteor-through some kind of space warp or something. "Go, Bob, go!" yelled one of the generals. "Give me that!" said the big-guy general as he took the microphone away. "Listen, Bob," he said. "You've…

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk. And after you're real drunk, maybe go down to the public park and stagger around and ask people for money, and then lay down and go to sleep…

I remember one day I was at Grandpa's farm and I asked him about sex. He sort of smiled and said, "Maybe instead of telling you what sex is, why don't we go out to the horse pasture and I'll show you." So we did, and there on the ground were my parents having sex…

I guess one of the funniest memories of my grandfather was the time I was at his house and that tied-up man with the gag in his mouth came hopping out of the closet and started yelling that he was really my grandfather and the other guy was an impostor and to run for help. Who was that guy?! Oh, well, never saw him…

I think a good scene in a movie would be where one scientist tells another scientist: "You know what will save the world? You're holding it in your hand."
And the other scientist looks, and in his hand are some peanuts. Then, when he looks up, the first scientist is being taken away to the insane asylum…

The next time you go to the doctor, go ahead and bring in a stool sample. They might need it. Better go ahead and bring some for the dentist too…

To become a knife thrower in the circus, they probably don't let you start off throwing at a live woman. They start you out with a little girl…

Later, they were tied to the bumper of a car and dragged around the block, as onlookers shrieked with delight. But one old man, who had a banjo, just shook his head and walked away. The crowd noticed this and set him on fire…

Whenever I start thinking that I am not living up to my potential, I remind myself of the old farmer and his fight to the death with the insane pig. It's an exciting story, and it takes my mind off all this "potential" business.

I'll never forget the time that skunk got under the house and Grandpa went under to get him. Boy, it smelled for months. You know, that was the last time we ever saw Grandpa…

: One day a beaver and a termite were walking down the road together.
"I can eat through a tree with my teeth," said the beaver.
"That's nothing," said the termite, "I can burrow through a tree."
Then they heard a voice behind them.
"You two think you're so smart, but you're nothing!"
It was a bitter old drunk lady.

His method of carrying them around was always questionable as well, but now, ever since he got that penis enlargement surgery, he's been taking 8 donuts.

I think the things you remember most are the little things, like that little space guy I kept tied up down in the basement. That little guy was only about five inches tall! He used to beg me to untie his rope, but I knew he'd just run away if I did. I think the cat finally got him, but the cat had little burn marks…

Remember playing Gamera with my new pet turtle when we were coming home from the pet store,
but couldn’t get any sparks shooting out of him.
There were a few when it somehow got dropped out the car window, but it just wasn’t the same.
That dumb old lady in the station wagon behind us saw to that.
Then, when she…

They'll spin it: Trump Stares Down Sun!