"I fail to see what could ever be funny about a bad lip reading."
- Generations of MLB players using smokeless tobacco.

"If you're pre-born, you're fine, if you're pre-schooled, you're fucked."

Screw Whole Foods, everyone knows Wegman's is the one, true grocery store.

"Clapping near soup" is my new band name.

I find what's really fucked up is that people think the family wants to take her off life support and kill her...she's already dead. This isn't a vegetative state, she's brain dead. Using her as an incubator isn't okay.

Of course not. No one likes hockey.

Let's assume this fetus were viable. And then it would be born with a ton of special needs and health problems and likely need care 24/7.

So, let me get this straight. Instead of allowing the fetus to die with its mother at what would have been within the boundaries of legal abortion, the law has forced it to grow to a point at the edge of viability, thus increasing the likeliness that it will have a short life filled with pain and suffering, if a life…

That's his O face.

The Maple Leafs' planned response next game:

Well, I think she looks pretty.

Richard Sherman, a legitimately interesting guy whose story hits on all sorts of intersections of sports and American culture and draws serious interest from the public, is also a first-rate entertainer and—most important—a truly elite football player.

Evil Manning Face was so 2013.

AMAZING. All you morons who said Erin looked scared can shut the fuck up now. Idiots.

Yelling at a dude during a post game interview: wonderful tv. Yelling at a white lady: thuggish.

Accidental double post. It just rips my heart out when I do this.

I love the guy, he's an ideal athlete for anyone who doesn't believe children should truly have athletic idols to base their entire moral code around.

I'm sorry, I stopped reading after "freezing the wine". Then I resumed and read "olive oil in the refrigerator".

I'm only super careful with stuff like fish and meat. Like, cooked salmon for me, I'd eat it within 8h in the fridge. On the other hand, with condiments like soy sauce, I swear I had a jar that I kept for 3 years and it was perfectly fine (in the fridge).