Cowboy Joe is probably rilly worried he ain't gonna git one o' these fer Jeezis' birfday, y'all —

"Wait — my boobs are on WHOSE Twitter feed?!!"

it's not really free-form at all: it swings like hell.

She's from Texas, and has that wonderful watered-down accent...

"Yes? Can I help you?"

This is the best (and most brief) thing you've ever written!

This —

Ha! You beat me to it...even though that little blip that they play isn't really free-form.

Not gonna tilde-shame ya, HS. Not gonna do it.

Yeah, all of ours too.

...or if it was in South Tampa, or maybe St. Pete? (I'm from Pasco, then Hillsborough.) But Ft. Myers? Yeah...surprises me too.

Must be some of that dreaded Baltimo' curry...

Also not a Ray Lewis quote —

It's some bizarre shit, Ray — but don't get me started on a Simmons-esque bogus muso-philo screed. I just don't understand why McCartney, Billy Joel, the Boss, etc etc don't catch a comparable amount of flack from the very same peeps that you reference over the very same things: Old/classic rock? Check. Sell-outs?…

Pat Tabler: "Melky lives in Tampa too so that's surprising..."

Damn, that's actually the first Simmons piece I (mostly) read all the way through. Thanks for the link, Ross!

Meanwhile...chicks dig hot dudes. Who knew?