Hmph, I wonder what it is that separates us mere mortals from the "good women" who are able to effortlessly reform selfish, fixer-upper men?

I guess they’ve got Jerry Lundergaard doing lot counts.

I have a reaaaaaal hard time believing the robbers beared any resemblance to John Henson whatsoever, other than the fact that they may have also been black. The man is seven feet tall. Getting robbed sucks, but don’t try to sugarcoat this...

Asking what time you close is suspicious? Sounds like this person needs a new line of work in that case. I would imagine a large number of the phone calls they receive are that exact question.

How exactly did they “bear a resemblance” to Henson? You realize he’s 7 feet tall right? I know people aren’t great at guessing height, but when you see a 7 foot tall person it’s pretty obvious they don’t look like a 6 foot tall person.

One of my absolute favorite movies, ever. It speaks very deeply to anyone who had a difficult childhood and spent most of the time fantasizing about how to escape.

You missed his greatest film ever, Meet the Feebles.

This is a great movie. Well made, well acted.

I find the unrelenting passage of time to be alarming as well so I’m going to have to side with the police on this one.

He was great but he wasn’t the first therapist I tried. I’d been to two others and was at least 5 years post rape when I went to him. He specialized in traumatic events and PTSD so he was exactly what I needed.

Preach, brother.

There is absolutely no excuse for these extremist leftists to try and take awake our ability to send hot lead at intense velocities towards objects.

Just because a few bad apples want to abuse the ability to send hot lead at intense velocities towards objects does not mean I should not be able to keep…

A friend of mine hooked up with Eugene Hutz (Gogol Bordello), and she has such an exaggerated sense of accomplishment about it. That’s like casually mentioning to everyone that you came in 8th place in a beauty pageant.

Looks like you need a history lesson.

Just two things of note

Because I know that someone in the comments will talk about how dangerous it is to be a police officer, just wanting to come home alive, etc.

It is more dangerous to be employed as a landscaper in America than it is to be employed as police officer. This is a fact that is true and is verifiable.

I read that as "iron worker who was a secret librarian," and I was like, "dreamboat!"

That was so thoughtful of Alessandra Stanley to include links to her "arch, provocative ledes" to teach us all that, in addition to being a racist dummy, she is a plain old regular dummy. You might think I'm going to complain about "There is nothing not funny about eating disorders," but I'll leave that to someone…

I know the stereotype is "once a cheater always a cheater," but is it true? I know quite a few couples who met this way and their second marriages are long and loving. I think that's a scenario that happens more often than people like to think.

Me too! I just finished The Stonecutter, Camilla Läckberg I think? I now need to read aaalllll her titles. And watch all the Wallander shows, British and Swedish!

I also have a slightly unhealthy obsession with serial killers. If you're interested in historical murders, check out the Servant Girl Annihilator, who was one of America's first serial killers and was based in my hometown of Austin. I wrote a huge paper on the murders in grad school and they were totally horrifying…