I'm so suspicious of winky faces that when my boyfriend uses them I get annoyed because it seems like he's using a line he used on all the bitches before me. I'm a science major with a 3.75. I 100% believe this connection haha

"What are you doing later?" = What are you doing later?

;) = I will cut a bitch.

I just inadvertently learned about myself. Thanks a lot, Anna.

That's my high school :)

A nursing school classmate of mine just posted this on FB... below a picture of some children and an American flag...

I can think if one instance when I was called a feminist in a clearly sexist way.

I really find it admirable that you had to tell us that you were wishing her well in -spite- of who she is married to. truly you are a moral beacon among thieves and our thoughts should be with you during this painful time of cognitive dissonance.

I've had dreams where I've somehow miraculously made it to the final round of auditions for the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders even though I'm the worst dancer ever and about 50 pounds over their weight limit. Those dreams are...fun.

Probably from someone who mutilated a sad loaf of bread, with a crappy knife.

Thanks to this post, I typed "bread" into Pinterest, and now I'm down a rabbit hole of beautiful bread recipes, of which I want to make/eat all...

Only I know some avid readers with really poor levels of self-awareness and abilities to connect with others in the real world. I'm thinking of my alcoholic father who died a few years ago and my ex who was essentially incapable of genuine empathy, especially during said father's death. They were extreme examples—my…

I just realized this week that one of the major reasons I can't get over the fact that my mother has happily removed herself from my life (and this hemisphere) is that I have no closure. Each big milestone in my life that comes along a little voice tells me that maybe this one will be important enough to her to send…

I don't have any how-to guides, but it feels like "not getting closure" is the story of my life, between my biological father passing away before I tried in earnest to find him, my mother passing away when I was 19, before I could ask her "wtf is with your habit of picking abusive assholes and being totally okay with…

I'm teaching summer school for 2 and 3 graders. Our theme is the OCEAN. The other day we were watching a video put out by Popular Mechanics for Kids ( a delightful series from the late '90's/early '00's) and who should I spy? A teenaged Elisha Cuthbert and Jay Baruchel. It seems like that show was Canada's answer to…

I have a ranch where I breed pubic lice so they don't completely go extinct. I don't want a child to ask me, "why are there no crabs?" and I would have to say "they don't exist anymore, because no one would stand up to protect them."

My dad interviewed him once. When he found out that my dad had recently had a baby (my older brother), he sent him a silver baby rattle. Dustin Hoffman is a beautiful person.

It's cool, though, he got his friend Sarah to write a piece for the Times intimating that Nigella's a lying, desperate-for-attention ho, and that she's ruined his life and nobody cares:

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/07/fas…

How weird. You usually don't see domestic abusers actually blaming the victim for the abuse.

Charles Saatchi can Fuck Off. What a terrible specimen of humanity.

Saatchi Gallery should run exhibitions on domestic violence. Free admittance to the public.

Saatchi & Saatchi should run advertising campaigns condemning domestic violence.Without expectation of payment, of course.

Both should donate heavily to…