Oh no dude, we get it. “Oh, Carol, I’m so SORRY! I had no IDEA I wasn’t allowed to stick my dick in the intern’s mashed potatoes and ask what her lady parts smelled like. I merely meant it as part of a cheeky welcome to the organization! I’ll do my best going forward, apologies but maybe you should revise your…

I thought it would be inherently implied that I meant the Heimlich maneuver being used in the case of a choking victim. Perhaps I was mistaken in assuming it was commonly well known among the general population of which is to be used in what situation.

Meh, it’s okay. “They’re Real” by Benefit is also okay. I’ll always just go right back to good old $5 “Great Lash,” especially now that they have the big brush.

Couldn’t they use the same staff to do another one of her books?

Papa Finger, Papa Finger, where are you?

compared to Cabbage Patch Kids this is just

The town I grew up in had a problem with geese at a small pond. They found this company that has these strobe lights that are supposed to scare the geese off. Apparently these geese didn’t care and one of the local officials said something like “we just paid for these geese to have a rave at the pond” which I find…

Hi everyone!

it’s crazy how easy it is to get pregnant when you don’t want it and how hard it is to get pregnant when you do want it

“faking her way through her period by putting squirrel blood on a Kotex pad”

that is so fucking cool!!!

Boots are the reason I will wear skinny jeans forever. I like other jeans, but nothing goes as well into a tall boot as a skinny jean.

Just an update because a lot of you were super supportive last year when my daughter was having serious issues with her mental illness: school has started, she’s a freshman this year and she’s doing so damn well! She’s even in pep squad which has taken us all by surprise, but fuck it! She loves it so we figure it’s…

I wrote last week that after more than three years, I finally have a new job. I still find it a little hard to believe, but I think this press release that came out yesterday is reasonably convincing evidence:

Hi all, I’ve been trying to come back here to comment more although it seems to go in waves (when you’ve been grey for years it is sometimes hard to keep posting, although I know that posting is of course what will change that). What is everyone else making this weekend? I’ve been on a soap making kick lately; this…

Remember the old days when you had to spend the night in a physical line in front of the local record store that served as your area Ticketmaster outlet to get tickets for a concert?

Although I don’t mean fake it. Actually electrify any barriers. People will quickly learn

I disagree. If a dude wants to violate my boundaries, then hold me down so I can’t leave, all bets are off. I will do what I need to so he gets off me. It’s not like she could get up to get a glass of water to tip over his head

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I will both listen to someting else AND Hagen on their appearance and you CAN’T STOP ME