I was just thinking reading this thread that “doing it” is the most sensible name for it and here you come mocking me!

Not the Onassis I was hoping for. :(

you just put on a “i am an acquaintance rapist” sign: you know that, right?

Broccoli?

literally nothing would be greater for me in the world hten if you were martin sheen threatening to assault me on the internet

I got inspired...

Mr. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is a true gentlemen and a great tipper. I waited on him and his family in 2002 while I was In school. The restaurant I worked in was part of a Theme Park and didn't allow us to keep our tips. The Rock was aware of this rule and slipped me a c-note like the smooth mofo he is.

I literally said “these people are not my friends, I don’t invite them to my gatherings.” Most people have close friends within a larger network of generic friendships and acquaintances. There are bound to be people in there that don’t like someone else, but it’s 1 or two people out of 10 or 20, so you deal. That…

Fun accidental gendered product story...I went to the local Dollar Tree or whatever and bought the cheapest sunscreen without paying any attention to anything but price and SPF. It said Hawaii-something-off brand-something.

“Oh fuck do I pay $150 for the Axe deep ocean big rock tornado rhino body spray or $5 for the cucumber deodorant? Fuck it, I need to smell like a MAN not a pussy, I don’t need dinner this month”

I work at a museum. I frequently joke that I’m going to take all the “Please Do Not Touch” signs that have visible finger prints and boot/shoe prints and turn it into an exhibit called “What Did I Just Say?!”

Okay, but seriously, I saw the Mona Lisa in person (the painting, not the person) when I was in Paris, and it's TINY.

My entire youth was spent with waffle like prints on the back of my thighs. goddamn you wicker.

Laila Ali is the only one who wore lace correctly, if only I knew who she was.

Yeah, no, I am sorry. Don’t wait for him to get over his obsession. If he is refusing to even acknowledge her feelings he doesn’t give a fuck about them.

Well that’s just an invitation to all Harlem raccoons to come eat your dog

I cannot even imagine my reaction had my husband tried to tell me that. But it would end with him walking the baby down the gd street because fuck that nonsense.

I literally saw a “friend” roll her eyes (thinking I couldn’t see here since I was in the front seat) when I said I didn’t know when some new extracurricular program at the school was starting.

Agreed. And in places with actual people like this, I can’t tell you how big of a deal they make it feel like to be a working mom. You literally are considered a “bad mom” to these women if you aren’t volunteering and up in your kids’ shit every day.

I think you might not be getting that part of the joke is that the things expected of moms are super petty and stupid. So rebelling from them looks super petty and stupid. No, it’s not that big a deal to buy sugary cereal for your kids or not bake from scratch or drop them off late to school sometimes. But society…