To clarify: He lives where his wife tells him to live.

When the commentator says it was hit so hard he couldn’t even see if it went in, it’s good. Or it’s Dick Enberg.

John Mara? And at 9? Steve Tisch is clearly the Giants co-owner you want to party with. He’s the only person ever to get a Golden Globe, an Academy Award, a Primetime Emmy Award nomination, and a Super Bowl ring.

She brought the lawsuit because it was the only way she could hold them accountable and the courtroom, he told jurors.

Seal any and all drones in a secure metal box for burial? Yup, sounds good.

Vinny Jones ...

Silence can be construed as consent. And it has been plenty of time for Congress to provide advice on the nominee. As such, Obama should simply appoint glasses dude and let it go, hilariously, to the Supreme Court to rule on.

Yankees facial hair protocol would not permit him to get that ‘filthy’

Clearly he’s had enough Ham of God.

Braves is a dumb name, regardless, so change that. Indians, and Redskins suck.

I’ll Marquette down as a solid meme

Somewhere, Mark Sanchez is nodding in approval.

Doe v. shade

Add some honey-roasted nuts (mixed nuts with cashews and almonds, not just ass-hat peanuts) to some Noosa, if you fucking dare.

Cough, Talib must have been under extreme Burress, cough.

+1 cluster bomb volley

As an asshole, I’m offended by this illustrated connection to buttfaces.

No one wants to see “Boner Bro,” aka A.B., twerk. I’m with the league on this. However, I’m also all for A.B.’s boner awareness campaign, which sadly (for seventh grade boys everywhere) is not getting anywhere near enough coverage.

Ignorance can be bliss. But, fuck that, everybody wants to know who’s behind the mask - or stupid costume.

My roommate smoked pot constantly, and apparently only left the room to eat and lure in drunken chicks. I had to join a shit frat just to get away from him.