...I like kale...please don't hurt me.

"And she was on like, B- sexy tv shows."

Dying at PUMP would be a great way to go though.

HEY EVERYBODY LOOK, A MAN IS SAYING IT SO YOU CAN BELIEVE IT NOW.

Oh my gawd yaaasss! She is working those stripes and that fanny pack...

I love a *good* Johnny Depp movie and have been on board for 20+ years, but good gods, when wasn't he half in the bag in public? This Amber person is expecting something like the sun not being hot. It's a good reason to get away from him, but nothing to be shocked about.

Seriously. I mean, she got together with him after his performance in fucking Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I'm pretty sure she's immune to secondhand embarrassment

Here's the best part of the Kirk Cameron piece:

ah no, have you ever dated an alcoholic? Then don't judge.

Or they were trying to get around automatic filters. Homophobes unfortunately come in all shapes, sizes and IQs.

I don't know if you're referring to Miley saying this or Wayne of the Flaming Lips :(

Better than any of my birthdays... Though one of my best friends faked a drag out fight with her boyfriend at the time to throw me off the fact that she'd planned a surprise party for me. Best. Birfday. Ever.

EDIT: Then again... this doesn't look BETTER, per se. Just more extravagant and a bunch of shit that I'd…

you can't be serious.

No joke, I was about to reply that Ayn Rand would be acceptable if they had defaced the book and kept it as a trophy. Penises on every page of an Ayn Rand book is a definite deal-maker.

I'm not really surprised, either. They seem to share a lot of commonalities, even if some of them are things many people would consider to be negative traits. They're probably quite happy together, or at least annoy each other less than they'd annoy others.

I'm disturbed by the lack of the prefix "-ex".

Even the right ones. Louis CK's twitter account isn't going to @ reply your question about what his inspirations are.

Oh sincere Twitter overtures to celebrities is a biggie.

That's a reasonable dealbreaker.

Were you dating Willow Smith??