where the kids are separated from the squids.

Because you requested, and because I literally couldn’t think of anything else ....

“ I would say that... perseverance is my number one atritude... aptude... attribute. I’m a people person. Uh, I work good with children. People like me. Because I force them to! With violence!”

I think this one works better

Newcomer is pretty much standard at this point.

See, him getting hired was an inside job.

The first thing that popped into my head when I first heard the news.

I tried

You just won a shop-contest that wasn't even started.

Hello, my name is Kirby Aran. I would like to apply for Mr. Fils-Aime’s position. I have some really amazing skills.

I think his name probably...

!!

-What flavor is it?

I will object to your #1 by leaving this here:

The publishing date of this article is very fitting. I’m glad Kotaku lets stories like this run. After four years of being a regular reader, I have to say that this last week I’ve been really impressed with the site! From Jason and Stephen’s comments on Gamergate, to Richard’s Ace Attorney review of Dragon Ball…