My cat died almost a year ago (21st October 2015, time travel day) and we burried her in our garden. Since last halloween I can hear something that sounds like her footsteps. She used to do a daily inspection round through the whole house while she was alive. It seems that she still likes to check if everything and…

You might even say, they need to carry this to term.

The irony was that this was mere moments after calling for policies to end overseas tax havens and complaining about companies leaving the country for cost reasons.

NOT AT ALL I’d throw all my money at it

“Such person purposely exposes his or her *anus*”

With the way these Republican misogynists *talk out of their ass* they’re setting themselves up for a lot of citations.

As a food scientist, I can tell you that sex is extremely important in food preparation. It’s not a matter of gender; it’s entirely biological. A few science facts:

living monogram

Hahahahaha, oh Brayden, darling, did you read that delightful new Bruce Williams column in the daily print out of the internet that one of our several butlers brought us this morning?

We have to do this often at the library I work at. We get creepy guys all the time (mostly middle-aged men who are my dad’s age) hitting on every female library employee in site and unfortunately we can’t tell them to get the fuck out of our faces in the manner we want to.

#MasculinitySoFragile

“How many peregrine falcons are left? WILL THERE BE ENOUGH FOR DINNER SERVICE.”

Can purple taste like Thursdays?

Mine is the same, though she’s a 60lb black lab so finding clothes that fit her is a challenge. But the second I bring something new home she HAS to wear it. Bugs me, won’t let me sit down until I take off the tags and put it on. Nut ball.

seriously no shame in my game. Since then we have adopted a third boxer who is going to be a walrus.

Chaffetz also sarcastically “congratulated” Richards on her salary, which she admitted is $520,000 a year.

“What’s homo milk? Is this milk from GAY COWS?!” he demands, utterly* seriously, even angrily.

The Reuben one reminded me of a story Terry Pratchett told. He said that one jet-lagged evening he accidently asked for Three Mile Island dressing for his salad. The waitress didn’t say a word, just brought him Thousand Island dressing and a bottle of hot sauce.

i am in space and there is no oxygen and no atmosphere and i literally cannot survive