THE SWAMP WAS ANGRY THAT DAY MY FRIENDS
This isn’t a story about a guy being a dick, but I was once in a Taco Bell when Mike Holmgren walked in, studied the menu intently for two solid minutes, and then walked back out never having said a word. It was over ten years ago but not a day goes by that I don’t wonder what the heck his internal monologue must have…
Snake: Bye!
In college, Newt Gingrich came to my school to speak. He visited my class, which focused on the UN and the history of NGOs and IGOs. We got into a discussion about Iran and he rambled on about how they hate us because they hate modernity. I raised my hand to point out that there is probably still asked degree of…
I was a contractor in Baghdad in 2006-2007 when the most patriotic and ‘Merican of all entertainers, one Mr. Toby Fucking Keith, graced us with his presence. Being a jaded asshole, I was all prepared to roll my eyes as he visited and sucked up to the troops in front of the cameras for publicity’s sake. That shit did…
2 uncool stories for yah.
I was alone in an elevator with Ruth Bader Ginsburg and she farted. I was going to ignore it like a gentleman when she said “woah did somebody step on a duck.” We both laughed and she turned to me and said “no one will ever believe you if you tell this again.” She is one wise lady.
My wife and I were in VA Beach for a wedding. At the time she was 7 mos preggo. There was a golf tournament in town and some of the tour people were staying at our hotel. Long story short; We were entering the hotel and Earl Woods was in front of us. He let the heavy door slam in my wife’s face. He knew she was…
She can be fired for expressing her opinions if her employer deems that such opinions reflect badly on the company and could cause its business to suffer. If the company believes she makes them look bad because she publicly espouses revolting viewpoints, then firing her to distance themselves from such viewpoints is a…
I’m trying to interpret the pantomime. Was he trying to put out a fire? Because his big balls were too hot? I’m confused, and this is important.
Wow, an actual bicycle kick.
Andy Reid is the best high blood pressure coach in the NFL, that’s for sure.
What if it works, though? What if the corporate and finance sectors are so happy to have a pro-business guy in there that stocks surge and companies start expanding?
Sorry dude—if Mike Pence’s bible taught me anything it’s that smiting my brother is just fine down here because I only answer to Jesus. Petard hoisted.
I call BS on this story, because no credible club has BACK SEATS on golf carts. Sorry, Butthole.
“Me and my dad went to a racetrack once. Like indian-polis or something. Anyways, we didn’t have cars so we decided to roll around on the cement while other people tried to drive cars. After a couple minutes, a very nice person gave us some hot dogs and asked us to give the helmets back. I was sad because we’re…
This is going to sound crazy, but I was there and remember seeing that. Wasn’t the director wearing a hideous hat at the time? I believe it was of the style given to vagrants along with a free bowl of soup.
Man you sure showed them.