I definitely never want children, and it’s a weird sore spot of contention for other people. I don’t think children are terrible or a waste of space or whatever: I just don’t enjoy them, have no desire to be a parent, and therefore don’t see why I should “just have one; it’s different when it’s yours!”. Because...…

I used to work at an NGO in the Atlantic Rainforest (I only had to quit because of visa issues - I still love them). I fear for them, but they’re intelligent, scrappy people. Unfortunately, the area is not very wealthy. And has bauxite to be mined. It’s... frightening. I can’t even say what might happen in the Amazon,…

This is what’s so different to me - I do not like being picked up, tossed around, or enveloped. It’s frightening to me, not sexy. It makes me aware that this person could easily overpower me (and history I have means that I’m a little paranoid about that - not the larger person’s fault!). I know some people totally…

I’m a lady-ish type around your height, and I don’t give a single shit about height of male partners. I actually kind of like being a little taller, if I were pressed to pick, but honestly, it’s just not very important to me. When someone is significantly larger than me in more than one dimension, I admit I feel a…

That’s terrifying. Strangling is such a huge and threatening thing, and I’m worried for your friend. I’m glad she has a friend who supports her and believes her. I, too, hope she leaves, because if it can escalate that quickly once, then it can again (which you know, of course, and I don’t mean to feed fears or be…

I miss fostering cats. I have a senior dog now (adopted as a senior), and after her passing, I want to go back to fostering. Those little moments when a shy or frightened animal gives you a chance are like nothing else, and they warm my heart so!

I choose to be single, because I really like it. And I say with confidence that it is totally okay to be without a partner and you can have a great and fulfilling life. There are lots of pluses to be single, like having total control over your life, making decisions for just you!

How often do you wash or change your sheets?

This is Laivi. She stole chili chicken while my friend and I were out, so she has an upset stomach. Honestly, in the two years I’ve had her, she’s stolen food once, so we didn’t think anything of leaving the food out. She’s somewhere between 10-12 years old, and is just a potato of a dog.  She sleeps 95 percent of the…

People do joke that she’s a lot more catlike than doglike :D I love both cats and dogs, so I don’t see it badly at all.

I don’t know if my dog is smart or not. She’s uninterested in praise, is totally food-motivated, and would rather sleep than play (she’s a senior, probably over 10 years old, and mid-sized).

This is my old lady. I adopted her from the shelter when she was between 9 and 11. She’s now between 10 and 12. She is a potato who does not care about anything at all. Seriously, she doesn’t necessarily even get up when people arrive: she wants them to come over to her to pet her. She rarely barks, and never steals…

My dad is a white professor/engineer, and struggles a lot with anything that isn’t clearly defined.

I always felt uncomfortable with how he talked about people, and never liked his “Behind Closed Ovens” or whatever that column was.  I felt he was mean-spirited, but I often felt like I was in the minority.

I made a comment like this before, but part of it (for some men) is that they don’t believe that there’s any other way. As one ex-hookup said, “well, if you don’t push girls, then you’d never get laid,” (I had been clear that this evening was not a hookup, I wasn’t feeling well, but we could hang as friends and he got…

I’m glad it helped, and I hope you’re doing okay :)

So, one of my hookups, an old friend who I had come to see, but told that nothing was going to happen, kept trying to escalate and I got irritated. I told him that I’d already said “no”, so why did he keep doing this? Hewas like, “well, you have to push girls a little. Otherwise, you’d never get laid.”

I have some autoimmune issues and heat makes them flare up (EDS and MCAS). Winter is my beloved season, when I feel human and good, and I cannot wait for cold nights and chilly winds, where my terrible ice-golem soul can frolic freely.

I help run a shelter Instagram, and I love it :)  We follow other animal shelters, and it can feel so nice. I get that IG can be crapola, though.  I worried about it for our account, but I just see cute animals a lot!

Wow, that’s awful. I don’t know if you’re still mad at yourself, but just in case you are, or others feel this way, I think it’s important to say that freezing is one of the most common responses to a shock like that. People want to think that they’d be ready to respond perfectly, but a lot of us just sort of go,…