I definitely agree. Politeness requires a very high-level understanding of culture and language. It’s one of the reasons that people don’t like tourists: they don’t know “the rules” and break them, which makes others have to compensate and feel put-upon.

Part of the reason people don’t like being asked about things is that there are so many little, invisible social weights and judgments that come along with life decisions, and some information might reveal something that puts you in danger. From the foods you eat to your hobbies, they might get tired of being asked to…

I have a loud voice, and I try very hard to keep it down. I definitely appreciate it if a friend is like, “Hey, just so you know, you’re being a bit loud,”. I mean, it embarrasses the hell out of me, but I definitely prefer to know!

For you.

There you go!

This bugs me because I sometimes don’t know who is who anymore, especially with name changes/fake names. Just weird babies talking to me.

This doesn’t bother me if it’s someone struggling with infertility or something (not that I always know these things), but if someone is childfree and is a pet “parent”, it bugs me. I think it’s because I can understand someone trying to face that they may never be a parent in the way they want, but they do want to be…

This is always how I’ve felt about porn. I can’t find anything that I actually like, and even the stuff that’s supposed to not be that way still looks that way to me, so I decided that maybe it just wasn’t for me. It was all much too performative and self-aware, and I just don’t like that.

I find it really itchy, actually, unless I wash it off really thoroughly. I don’t care for it at all. So I use condoms for everything, which makes the question moot and also cleanup much easier (and I’m not exclusive with most people, so it’s just smart).

I think it’s more that people don’t like people to connect private events with the public sphere. Sure, everyone poops, but we usually do it in private, and we don’t often like others to see us doing it. Some people don’t care, but I think the average Westerner would prefer to be alone. When other can see something…

I bought a pregnancy test for a friend. Strangely enough, it wasn’t embarrassing at all when I knew it wasn’t for me, even though the cashier had no way of knowing that (it’s not like I announce who it’s for).

I know what you mean. I would not consider a man who struggles with the concept of menstruation as a potential anything partner (exception: If you can’t handle any bodily fluid, like urine, feces, vomit, etc., and its not gendered, and menstruation is just within those things, then I am okay with it.).

Good luck! I don’t have enough people on Meetup in my area, and OkCupid has been a great way to sort of get a feel for people’s personalities and whether or not we’d mesh. I hope it helps!

What I actually wear: jeans, large shirts that don’t go above the elbow and definitely go below the hips.

Nope! When you search instead of using the Quiver, you can set your preferences by sex, preference, stats, whatever, and you can even narrow it down to people who are looking for friends, too.

I actually use OkCupid as a friend-meeting service and it’s worked pretty well for me. I just message people who say they’re looking for new friends (and seem like they actually are) and see if they’re interested! Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t, but if Meetup isn’t working for you, OkCupid might be worth…

I’ve only gotten flowers from my mom and one platonic friend whose “thing” it was to give flowers. So, you’re not alone!

It’s called “semantic satiation”! I like having names for things, so maybe you do, too. :)

You are correct! My apologies, I didn’t mean to conflate the two (and I did). And you’re also right in that what we assume about people says a lot about us, but I also think that we should be careful about accidentally making connections, too.

I’m not saying that it was necessarily racist. For example, the poster could have included that he was gay, and we could be asking the same questions. I was agreeing with another commenter that it’s okay to question why this piece of information was included, and that when we do include it, we should ask ourselves why…