Holy fuck. Did van Gogh do this shit? That's the best Valentine's Day gift ever given. Some random teacher officially is having the Best Week Ever.

Seconded.

Egads. To see perfection so early?

Nah. It's probably about time the United States went crazay and took the offensive off the boat. That would go over, right? They did say they were building nuclear weapons solely for us, after all.

Because life. I was not ready for that — at all.

Congrats to this soldier right here, but my God — that photo. The win is deafening.

Required?

Damn you. I just posted that and completely missed this, from 11 hours ago. Never hurts to have more than one, right? CONGRATS!

THIRTY-FIVE JIGGAWATTS?!?

I loved Abuse. I always felt like a semi-ghetto Predator. Granted, I was 11. Sounds about right. Marathon as well, obviously, particularly Durandal. I was extremely upset when they didn't provide the Marathon symbol for Halo multiplayer beyond 3.

+1

I was about to say. You see that shit tossed casually into a closet? You treasure the Power Glove. It's so bad.

Is anyone else simply blown away by the fucking mention of a cat cafe? Anyone? That shit be crazy. I swear I'll be the manager of the first American cat cafe. El Café de Gatos. That's the damn ticket, the damn GOLDEN ticket.

I love comments like this. It makes me lore-dig. I'm trademarking that action as we speak.

Jesus. The mid-'90s was the absolute best for Mac gaming. That Warcraft II Battle Chest was my best friend for several years, along with Hexen and Duke Nukem 3D. In fact, I still run Hexen every now-and-again just for shits and gigs.

I feel like video game companies are becoming the new newspapers for some reason. It seems like every week or so, another group of talented people faces the slaughterhouse due to financial problems. It's a shame corporations and industries can't run on an impossible ideal.

Well, there it is. Time to take Cassandra to the End of the World Party. Nothing left to see here.

No. No worries. It's one of those things where you have it on DVD, but you're flipping the channels and you're all, "Holy shit! Grandma's Boy! Have we watched it this week? Who cares. We're watching it."

You guys must have INCREDIBLE editors. Like, my-writers-would-look-like-chodes-without-me editors. That, or you have an incredible amount of patience in writing a story, waiting a bit, then rereading it yourself to find errors. I never could find the ability to do that.

It's funny you mentioned Grandma's Boy. Before my wife and I were "my wife and I," we were watching TV, and it came on FX, obviously. We sat there and watched it from beginning to end, being one of her favorites, and she said something to the effect of how Alex was every man's dream, whether they knew it or not — not…