“Tell everybody, you can’t win this one.”

Because he doesn’t care about “winning” his interest is in whooping up his base. You give him what he wants and then he just keeps moving the goalposts.

This is exactly right.
He’s a protection racket that still burns your fucking store down after you pay him.

It’s especially hard to find if you a) don’t want to find it and

That is the laugh of a kid who knows the system is fucked, knows he’s getting locked up for no reason, and knows the actual cop who committed the actual murder got off free.

Goddamn I wish I watched the whole game with the Australian announcers. Between this and the strip sack call, they sound like a ton of fun.

You’re not the only one, Doc. It’s been a long, terrible last year, but we as a nation finally have a shining spark of hope. Thank you, Eagles, for finally putting the Pats in a spot they couldn’t cheat their way out of. (I do understand that the Pats have outplayed and outcoached plenty of teams legitimately. That…

I still thought they would somehow go 90+ yards in less than a minute with no timeouts, get the 2 point conversion, and win in overtime. I thought the Eagles would regret running it three times and settling for the field goal. No comeback is too surprising anymore with them.

TOM BRADY WIRD GESACKT!!!! TOM BRADY WIRD GESACKT!!!! SIE HABEN TOM BRADY DEN BALL ABGEWÜRGT!!!!

Racists find it denigrating (which was what Republicans wanted when they came up with the term) but Democrats (and Obama himself) are fine with Obama’s name being on one of the biggest achievements in American Healthcare.

President Obama’s “health care for all” law was officially called the “Affordable Care Act” but has been nicknamed Obamacare in honor of its champion.

And to prove that point, Tom Price just resigned

“People crack jokes about the current president daily by the minute.”

I didn’t like Dubya, he was stupid and made a lot of horrendous decisions that led to the deaths of hundreds of thousands but very rarely did it feel like he wanted that to happen but rather he was stupid and others took advantage of that for their own insane agendas. Yes his paintings aren’t amazing and the idea of…

I think we’ll need to find a way to prove that the country can refrain from electing con artists.

Right after we’d be winning so much, we’d be sick of winning.

We’re work twins.

Especially one with eyes that look like gross little pink buttholes when they squint, which is always.

Except that, as a woman, everything I’ve ever experienced in the workplace tells me the exact opposite.

Another problem, to me, was both candidates were younger and reasonably well-dressed. Put a 70+ obese woman in a garbage sack of a suit up there and see if people are as sympathetic. It’s the Tomi Lahran principle - people are more willing to accept dumb shit from a conventionally-attractive young female face.