Congrats, this is the first gizmodo article I’ve read that makes me wanna punch the author the fuck out. I’m not some uncrustables fanatic or right wing troll defending the godgiven American right to junk food; but the tone it was written in... whoo boy.

“Soon, you’ll be thinking about layering and wool socks (I promise).”

“Soon, you’ll be thinking about layering and wool socks (I promise).”

“Slot pairs”. Yeah sure that doesn't even sound right whatever.  FAKE NEWS, SHEEPLE SNOWFLAKES.  That's obviously when they transport the alien lizard person Obamacare zombie Hilary Clinton viruses in preparation for the NWO ZOG globalist occupation of Texas and Idaho!  Jones knows!  Trump knows!  Huckabee Sanders…

Yeah, sure, these probably seem pretty impressive to you people. Myself, I enjoy my $43K soundproof booth when I’m in the office at my $4K solid ivory desk; on the road, my 20-strong security team ensures no poor people within earshot dare talk or make any noise that’ll possibly interfere with my Ted Nugent playlist.…

Yeah, sure, these probably seem pretty impressive to you people. Myself, I enjoy my $43K soundproof booth when I’m…

This is one of the best and most succinct explanations of why there are so many “successful” assholes (cough, trump, cough) I’ve seen. Kudos. As an anecdotal addendum, the smartest, most interesting people I’ve met have almost always been employed in lower-tier jobs.

But seriously, is this that much of a game change? Are eggs normally “clean”? I’ve eaten and enjoyed eggs my whole life but when preparing them I’ve always treated them like little disease grenades. Because, you know, chicken asses.

Great, a bunch of self-satisfied comments from smug eggies.

“age rage”

Another problem with troll-cowering behind that expression is that, especially when it comes to racism, those non-hurting names are often being used in conjunction with actual sticks and stones... and bombs, and bullets, etc.

Glad to see all these previous comments calling you on this summer bullshit. What are you, fucking 12 and sad about going to a new school? Piss off, summer fucking sucks. Pumpkin spice latte, motherfuckers! Even better, pumpkin gobs are in Sheetz. Fuck your hot, stank, bug-filled summer.

Only way this, umm, shadow, could’ve lived up to the ridiculous fucking hype would’ve been if, during totality, 7 billion J-Law clones had ridden down from the somewhat dimmed heavens astride golden unicorns and given everyone on Earth a loving handie/finger bang while never breaking eye contact.

Keeping in mind the mob of asshats who are running things right now, if I showed up at any of the parks wearing a work shirt with a BP logo on it they’d red-carpet my ass right the fuck on in there.

I would hope that one would have more control over whether one clicks a link than driving properly and getting creamed by a drunk or a vapid bimbette social networking on their phone behind the wheel.

We are a complete and utter piece of shit of a species. Period.

Newsflash, racing is stupid and pointless, period, whether it’s computers or meatsacks controlling the cars.

Candyman was the first thing I thought of when reading Cabrini Green as well. Interestingly, the movie touches on the gentrification subject when V Mads mentions to her friend that her new luxury apt. used to be project housing, demonstrating such, in part, by showing her a void behind the bathroom mirror.

What he said, so, no. Plus, the very existence of this condition would inevitably sour the relationship, so, no. Can you imagine when/if the relationship does go South and you’re like, “Motherfucker, I’ve been fucking a goddamned goat for you!”

All non-theists, along with people of spiritual/philosophical bents other than the Big Three asshole factory religions need to just hunker down and watch these idiots kill each other off. Not a lot of Atheist or Zoroastrian terrorists, ya know.