You feel old... as in she’s a new rapper?

“Wow, I really suck compared to this guy.”

“I’m sorry, I just won an award.”

(Kidding!)

Yes, but they were in AMERICA. In America, we clamp down on your hand like a vice, stare directly into your eyes as a display of dominance and shake until a little bit of poop falls out.

I can’t harbor any resentment for Melania. She is clearly as trapped as we are.