I just came here to say that Rob Manfred looks like a penis, and so I’m not surprised that he’s fascinated with the balls and trying to increase scoring. 

You’re right about everything, except I think it does suck that Vlad didn’t win the overall derby. For a kid (yes, he’s still a damn kid!) to get fucked by the Blue Jays for a month, he deserved that million bucks. Too bad he had to tire himself out against Pederson first.

If ever there was a time to enforce the “if the batter doesn’t move, he doesn’t get awarded the base” rule, this would seem to be it. Pillar doesn’t even move out of the batter’s box when he calls for time. An MLB pitcher trying to stop his windup is a recipe for disaster, and I believe that they are told to come home…

As opposed to the flag of today, which flies over a country ruled by a completely competent and not-at-all racist President, and treats black people humanely and with respect at all times. 

Jesus Christ. This guy cheats at something that nobody gives a fuck about, gets caught, and then commits suicide to avoid the public shame from cheating at something that nobody gives a fuck about? This guy had issues, man. 

Huh, this is funny. I just assumed that somehow, Corbin Burnes had found a way to fuck up that game. But would you look at that, this one isn’t his fault. Who knew?

It’s ok. I hear that happens sometimes.

You’re goddamn right I did.

You think that’s bad? As a Brewers fan, I’d be willing to make a trade to ACQUIRE him. 

This guy is a fucking clown. He makes absolutely zero effort to move out of the way. Trust me when I say this, the only thing that Brewer pitchers are good at hitting is the barrel of the bat. If they were aiming for the batter, the ball would end up deposited 450 feet away as a souvenir. Nobody is pitching at this…

“The world will never again elect something this stupid.”

We can all agree at this point that the only reason this guy isn’t out on the street yet is because MLB has it’s own head so far up it’s own ass that admitting they have a terrible umpire just wouldn’t look good, right? That’s some Rodger Goodell-level shit right there. “The Shield” needs to be protected at all costs,…

God dammit, I miss him. I loved watching him pitch. Not a Marlins fan, nor Florida resident, so I didn’t get to see it often enough. But that kid was everything right with baseball. Fuck. 

Knowing nothing about Tony Joiner himself, as soon as I saw the headline, I was certain that he was on one of Urban Meyer’s teams. And then I read the article, and was proven correct.

There is no reason whatsoever that the NBA should put seats on the goddamn floor. No matter what Trump-loving billionaire prick you can get to fork over $20,000 per seat for a game. Fuck this guy. Fuck Drake too, just because.

I really gotta say that whether you bike or run, if you describe yourself as “avid” at either one, you are immediately the douche. Besides, most cyclists and marathoners are douches, who can’t start a single conversation without mentioning their ride/walk from the night before. Or the big race coming up next week.…

Sane? You stayed 3 innings after an 11-run inning? You, my good man, are a masochist. Unless you’re a Marlins fan, in which case, you just saw the best game of your season. 

Hernan Perez does a better Alex Claudio than Alex Claudio!

Do they even charge an error on this play? Who gets it? The shortstop, who threw a bullet that should have been caught? Or the catcher, who can’t catch a ball he’s not expecting? 

I agree, but it’s hard to decide which city I’d rather see nuked first when it comes down to Boston an St. Louis. Neither of those cities is a real bastion of inclusiveness.