Take it from me and don’t get your hopes up...having said the same thing going into every birthday party I’ve had in my adult life, it never is, and you’ll only end up disappointed.

So yeah, it’s true that Sam did a bit of extrapolating there, and should’ve tried to stay neutral, but the exact quote (“If you’re looking to understand what’s actually happening in this country, always assume the opposite of whatever they’re telling you on the big news stations”) is shown in the article (the embedded…

I will not return to Twitter until Donald Trump is dead or in jail. I’m not saying Twitter will get any better once one (or both) of those things happen. I’m just saying I really want one (or both) of those things to happen.

OLD MAN YELLS AT CLOUD PLATFORM

Kang is permanently locked out for issuing 15 insults at Donald Trump in ten minutes last Memorial Day. Not sure which one got me permanently banned, but strongly suspect it was when I wrote that I was sculpting tiny Congressional Medals of Honor for the maggots that eat his face when he dies.

10. Ground Pepper

I tried to look, but I don’t speak Russian.

“heart transplants where the heart turns evil and takes over its recipient.”

Half of them would be implicating themselves in some crime or another.

Q: What’s the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?

‘Manifest’ is a synonym for ‘register’, which this kind of behaviour could land you on.

“Why do servers always check in when my mouth is full?”

so if an immigrant is here, illegally, and kills someone, do you not think there is something wrong with that?

Monsters powered by racism? So, Republicans?

apathetic parents don’t have kids in advanced classes

I agree with the first 5/7 of that sentence.

That wasn’t mayo. It was homemade though.

Save them up for trump rallys. Just store them in the sunlight.

Welp, I reckon I otter give this a try.