This is my favourite Buddhist hymn

My balls aren’t even that big...

Kimmel never dating a seventeen year old cancels the Man Show negatives.

I just don’t understand why she doesn’t begin this and all posts with “My husband Nigel Tufnel, AKA Christopher Haden-Guest, 5th Baron Haden-Guest, the best human being and the man you all wish you were married to...” But whatevs, maybe that is more about me than her.

For the record, even with the Man Show under that guy’s belt, Kimmel seems a lot more likeable and less gross.

This looked like the most mentally taxing thing he’s ever done in his life.

Dude looked legit winded from the hard thinks to read the script and not let his mouth hole just wander off and report on whatever his attention span had just wandered to.

Or maybe that’s just him being winded from the elevated heart rate…

I just asked my daughter if she would want to see this man naked. She threw up a bit in her mouth, and now I want to make it a gif and tweet it to him. 

I hate the feeling of being observed. I tend to look straight ahead or at the ground in front of me out of wanting to avoid it, but this seems to give men carte blanche to stare as I pass. It’s the feeling of being evaluated, and regardless of the positivity or negativity of the final estimation I’m uncomfortable.…

Dude you’re killing me with pickle/soap LMFAO!

I hear ya. Gotta have your artisanal vinegar store, your specialty imported foods convenience store, your artisanal pickle/soap store, your independent ‘funky’ clothing store (that really looks like they purchase 70's clothes from Goodwill, then mark it up 2,000%), your non-Starbucks coffee (fresh roasted ethically…

I hear you have an opening...

I think he’s ducking it because he’s not remorseful and is so completely entrenched in his position of not being okay with gay people he won’t even fake an apology.

And we have free agency to laugh at how fucking ridiculous your flesh diaper looks.

NOT in the mood to hear this guy blame mass shooting victims for his idiocy. Or women or misgendered kids.

The world doesn’t deserve PFT.

I recommend noted earth angel Paul F. Tompkin’s Twitter feed for the funniest takes on this dumpster fire.

Louis Szekely here doesn’t get to make fun of people with preferred names.

On a given morning not too long ago, the rest of the world disappeared and the house was left all alone. Its inhabitants were never sure whether the world was destroyed and only the house left untouched or whether the the house had somehow been taken away. And you’ll note that the people in the house have to…

The real story here is that girls impending tension alopecia...

“Let”? The Culkin kids were forced into showbiz (like many child stars).