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I don't believe I implied anything about the ethnicity of anybody here. I
do believe I repurposed some quotes from the show, which appears to be
the done thing around here, but which can also be a bitch to spot
sometimes.

There are at least ten years between Jeff and Abed. On a show with continuity as consistent as this, I doubt they'd ignore something that obvious for what amounts to a non-joke. (If it was Abed, what's funny about it? "Abed was there too," isn't humour, it's just sort of there, like a Family Guy flashback.) Anyway,

Couldn't have been baby Abed. Ages are wrong. This was proven with science in another thread.

Cooperative Calligraphy was my first episode and it got me hooked. But then maybe I'm weird.

Yup.

Since Todd hasn't gotten up off his lazy ass to post the review yet (wow, now I understand the review-impatience-rage; it's a powerful thing):

(Can we stop walking in slo-mo now?)
(Twenty more yards.)

I wasn't paying much attention and misread 'person' as 'prison'. I hope this doesn't awaken anything in me.

Greg Lake, clearly.

FASTER THAN A SPEEDING LOCOMOTIVE!

So Alison Brie now plays that Secret Service agent who Abed's totally nailing off-screen? Cool. Coolcoolcool.

Lawyering for the Bluths.

Definitely. That's the part that'll kill me on Crushing.

The pirate plot bothered me at first, too. My guess is that Marlowe just hired them to dispose of Nate, but the captain (Rameses) got greedy and figured he'd have a crack at finding Iram while he was at it. Since pirates aren't natural planners, it all went to shit, but credit to the guy for trying, I suppose. And for

Holocaust documentaries, apparently.

BEADS!