You know what I think every time I visit a national park? “This is cool, but really needs a lot more empty Starbucks cups strewn around the landscape.”

Limp Dick Simpleton. That’s your new name.

Oh look a Limp Dick Simpleton.

“SWALLOWED A PEN BECAUSE NO ONE PAID ATTENTION TO HIM”

My Grandfather spent his youth in North Africa and Europe killing nazis. I’m glad he didn’t live to see us elect one as president.

The real question, when will we drop the ‘neo’ moniker and just straight out call them nazis? Here’s my rule number one - if you have a swastika tattoo, wear a swaztika armband or carry a flag or sign with a swaztika, hey, you’re a nazi.

I Do.

$100? I think you know the answer, so better to bet $1,000,000. Or more.

100 bucks says all that campaign swag was manufactured in China

Swap “North Korea” with “United States” and you couldn’t tell the difference between this and one of the north’s statements.

You know, I’m strange but I’d happily trade the MCU for consistent new Stargate.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EXPLAIN TO MY 5-YEAR-OLD SON THAT TWO GROWN MEN CAN’T GET DRUNK BECAUSE BUD LIGHT COSTS $10?

So when someone posts the positives in life, theyr'e embellishing. But when they post the negative, they are "being dramatic" or a "Debbie downer." Your damned if you do, and your damned if you dont. I think the problem lies with the people poring over other peoples profiles. If someone is jealous of me over my…